The Emmy’s Worst Dressed!

DAHLINGS –

Due to a recurring illness, it has taken me a few days (cough) to get to this entry. However, how could I keep my beloved readers from missing this, no matter how great the sacrifice??

As in the Best Dressed, the Worst Dressed had an embarrassment of riches. And I do mean embarrassment.

WHY DIDN’T SOMEBODY TELL ME THIS WAS A RED CARPET AWARD SHOW?

Lauren Bosworth apparently thought her invitation read “Daughters of the American Revolution Afternoon Tea–no Democrats, please.”

Stephanie Pratt gave new meaning to “she looked like she just rolled out of bed.” When she awoke, the limo had been parked outside for more than an hour. Oh, well, everything looks dressy with heels, even a cheap Fredericks of Hollywood nightie! Doesn’t it? Doesn’t it? And thank you so much for the abundance of crotch shots!

Apparently Heidi Klum thought she was showing up for a taping of the runway segment of Project Runway. What else explains this dress? As she likes it on the show, too short, too tight, too shiny. Or is that what she doesn’t like? So confusing!

WHAT WERE THEY THINKING?

This category is for the dresses that leave one’s guests looking at each other in bewilderment. Yes, Alexander McQueen is dead and we should all be respectful of his memory…but Anna Paquin’s gown looks like she is starring in a bad fantasy film as “Rodarah, Queen of the Unalasians.”

There is so much wrong with Saturday Night Live’s Kristin Wiig’s dress one hardly knows where to start. The shoulder pom-poms? The cheap-looking print fabric? The sloppy, floppy black belt?

I am usually a champion of the unusual, but Lauren Graham’s gown is definitely a head-scratcher. Is the white bib to protect her dress from stray tomato sauce when the waiters are serving the pre-show cocktail nibbles? Is she afraid Lindsay Lohan is going to vomit on her? Or does she actually think it looks good? Your faithful correspondent is at a loss. There have been no photographs of the back that one can find, but perhaps that is a blessing in disguise.

And I am almost always a champion of larger lovelies, but KayCee Stroh’s gown…what look is she going for, precisely? Goth 60s hippie? Two unmatching gowns worn at once? And that pattern–I’M BLIND! I’M BLIND!

Remember when Jewel was a waify litle folk singer? Neither do I. In keeping with her recent glamorous image makeover (“I’m still relevant!), she is sporting a Carolina Herrera pink wedding cake dress. This photo does not show how perilously close the dress was to sliding off her body, which made for more entertainment than the actual show.

Why on earth did Glenn Close think this ill fitting green paper bag would be a good red carpet choice? Is it because the huge baggy hem is supposed to complement her broad shoulders?

FOLIE AU DRESS

This might be called a “catch-all” category, for all of those gowns that don’t fit easily into slots. First we have the Look At Me Dammit! awards.

This award is handily won by Eva La Rue. Even her name sounds like a burlesque dancer. Here, she manages to make virginal white look like ít’s been around the block a few too many times.

Speaking of white vulgarity, I know that this Kardashian (I can never tell them apart) made quite a few Best Dressed Lists, but this looked trashy, as did she.

What can one say? This Narciso Rodriguez dress would be a complete snore if it weren’t for the cheesy mesh insert at the waist, worn by Julia Louis-Dreyfus. The actress looks as if she divides her time between the gym and the plastic surgeon.

Now we have the general Oh, Dear category.

(I have no clue as to who this poor woman is. But the photo speaks for itself.)

Poor Toni Collette. On her way to the red carpet, her gown trailed through the mud. Perhaps that explains her displeased facial expression.

Cheryl Hines’s dress reminds one of a tree that’s been “toilet-papered” at Halloween. Not that your faithful correspondent would ever participate in something so common.

Elizabeth Moss’s gown, like Anna Paquin’s and Kristin Wiig’s gowns, has a bad case of “shoulder strangeness.” In this case, a large wad of fabric adorns a bunched up, badly-draped dress. The dull color doesn’t do her delicate complexion any favors, either.

To finish, Keri Russell’s Pepto-Bismol pink dress wasn’t exactly a “pop of color” on the runway, rather a splashed bucket. The top was far too large; every time Ms. Russell moved, the breeze threatened to expose one of her pretty little breasts. Because a dress is vintage, that does not necessarily mean it is a good fit.

So, those are my choices. Please feel free to respond in the comments. But remember, I am always right.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Golden Globes 2010: MY Worst Dressed

DAHLINGS –

Sorry this entry is late. But I’ve been out of my mind with preparations for New York Fashion Week.

However, I was absolutely driven to finish by having the misfortune of happening across a program on E! hosted by the Bride of Riverstein, Bobblehead Girl, Reality Show Slut and Strange Little Blonde Man. Perhaps that may seem harsh, but the way they tore into any unfortunate celebrity who did not wear what they thought proper was simply–words fail one. (You will find most of them on my Dullest Dressed List.) Particularly because Bobblehead Girl was wearing a garish gold minidress with some sort of shoulder-thing that threatened to lop off her head if she turned sideways. As for what the Bride of Riverstein was wearing: silence.

Now, on to your faithful correspondent’s Worst Dressed List.

BREAST FOOT FORWARD

First, there is nothing inherently wrong with this dull blue gown, but the buckling at the waist and the dire lack of a foundation garment makes it apparent a wardrobe malfunction is about to happen to Alicja Bachelda.

Speaking of lack of foundation garments, Heidi Klum, of all people, needs a brassiere. Since she so often scolds Project Runway contestants for not putting bras on their models, it seems strange that she decided to go without. Otherwise, it’s a perfectly nice dress by Roberto Cavalli.

And again speaking of lack of foundations, why did Halle Berry forget to put a gown on over her slip?

Not to be outdone, Mariah Carey, who looked so lovely at the People’s Choice Awards, decided to be the punchline of one million “Golden Globes” jokes with this, er, little number, accessoried by an oiled spray-on tan:

Speaking of bosom overkill, Annalynne McCord’s dress not only looks like it is feeling her up, one wouldn’t be surprised if those things on the top vibrated when you pressed the right button. (Something to do when the GG’s get slow…a self-pleasuring dress.)

“Oh my God, this feels so good.”

Photo courtesy of Just Jared

(One supposes one should be grateful that there were female celebrities with breasts there, in any case.)

WHEN THE DRESS WEARS YOU

Kate Hudson decided to wear a bridal gown with very sharp edges. There are rumors she cut off a man’s hand while making her way down the red carpet. For some reason when I look at this dress, I think “chassis.” And not in a good way.

On the other scale was the widow Jones, who is in deep mourning in Lanvin, although I am not sure for what.

Chloe Sevigny looks as though she was about to be eaten alive by her rose colored Valentino gown, or like a little girl poking her head through a ladies’ dress rack. Take your pick. I’m inclined to the first choice, if only for the image of screams after the ceremony and the dress lying flat on the ground, Chloe nowhere to be seen.

“I’m not sure, but I think this thing is moving.”

FOLIE AUX DRESS

Julia Roberts was a stand-out for all the wrong reasons. She made many Worst Dressed lists by seeming as if she had just run out of the house without changing her clothes. I hate to be one of the pack, but sometimes…

Elizabeth Moss usually looks lovely at award events, so what is one to make of this washed out, ill-fitting dress? And why won’t she pull up her straps?

This dress was widely admired, but watching Toni Collette go to the stage to accept her Best Actress award, it seemed to weigh more than she did, and drags down her beautiful (if thin) figure with its heft.

Anna Paquin’s choice was not only garish (particularly up close), but almost made it into the Breast Foot Forward category.

Cameron Diaz has two strikes against her: a strangley immobile, mask-like face and a dress that, when she was onstage, made me think, “cowl cleavage.”

Last but hardly least, zombie Nicole Kidman was momentarily enticed from looking for brains to eat for a photo op. Her Nina Ricci dress overwhelms her sticklike figure, as would anything else.

“Me want brains. Paparazzi…so many tasty brains…”

There were any number of pretty, perfectly satisfactory dresses worn by Diane Kruger, Olivia Wilde, and others, but I think I have written enough about the Golden Globes for now. Feel free to comment, but I would prefer if you did not do so anonymously. Have the courage of your convictions. And remember, I am always right.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

New York Fashion Week and Style360!

DAHLINGS –

Better late than never to let you know about a fabulous fashion event taking place during New York Fashion Week!

STYLE360 ANNOUNCES SHOW DATES & DESIGNERS

FOR ITS 6TH CONSECUTIVE YEAR AT NEW YORK FASHION WEEK

New York Fashion Week’s Only 360 Degree Integrated Media & Event Fashion Platform

September 12– 15, 2009

After five consecutive years of cutting-edge fashion events, A-List Communications and Hachette Filipacchi Media U.S. (HFM U.S.) are thrilled to announce dates and designers for its annual STYLE360 multi-day fashion showcase during New York Fashion Week.

STYLE360 has always explored the relationship between fashion and contemporary culture by pairing style trends with innovative brands—and 2009 promises to take this tradition to the next level.

From September 12 – 15, STYLE360 will serve as the alternative Fashion Week destination and showcase its most impressive roster of fresh fashion talent and inventive design houses yet. Headquartered at the Metropolitan Pavilion in the fashionable Chelsea neighborhood of Manhattan, STYLE360’s sixth year includes not only runway shows, but also celebrity-hosted after parties, buzz-worthy press events, and unique product interactions.

This year’s exciting line-up of fashion shows includes headliner Kristin Davis’ apparel collection, Dash by Kim Kardashian presented by Oral B, Abbey Dawn by Avril Lavigne, Liquid Metal, Geren Ford presented by Tide Total Care, and renowned accessories designer, Rebecca Minkoff presenting her ready to wear collection. STYLE360 will also be welcoming back designers Abi Ferrin presented by Toni & Guy as well as Walter presented by Kipling, and international designer and Project Runway alumnus Malan Breton presented by Rado Watch Company.

STYLE360 is also delighted to present a special benefit “Pink Dress Breast Cancer Awareness” fashion show hosted by beneficiary, the Susan G. Komen Foundation as well as a special presentation for the 15th Anniversary of the annual Gen Art “Fresh Faces” fashion event. Both of these multi-designer fashion events will be co-produced by Rock Media & Entertainment.

STYLE360 will also host its series of fashion week after-parties including the Abi Ferrin After-party and STYLE360 Launch Celebration hosted by Oral B with celebrity Kim Kardashian and the Abbey Dawn by Avril Lavigne after party hosted by Avril Lavigne at new luxury lounge, The Gates located at 290 8th Avenue as well as a VIP closing party at retailer, What Goes Around Comes Around, the renowned SoHo boutique located at 351 West Broadway. (Your faithful correspondent will be in attendance!)

Complete information about the designers, program schedule, sponsors as well as featured interviews, and fashion show video and photos is hosted at www.elle.com/style360/ .

“Our proposition is still about showcasing an innovative stage for all designers, from established to celebrity to emerging, along with integrating corporate partners to create an enhanced fashion show experience,” declares David Manning, President of A-List Communications. “The STYLE360 concept, however, takes the 60 feet of runway to magazine pages, the internet, TV sets, mobile phones and retail displays to reach a much bigger market for both the fashion designer and participating corporate brands.”

Hachette Filipacchi Media, the publishers of ELLE (www.elle.com), ELLE Decor and Metropolitan Home (http://www.pointclickhome.com/ ), continues its support via its media partner status. Corporate sponsors making STYLE360 possible include Toni & Guy (http://www.toniguy.com/ ), who will be officially styling the hair for all Style360 fashion shows, Oral B (http://www.oralb.com/ ), Tide Total Care (http://www.tide.com/ ), RADO (http://www.rado.com/) , Ford Motor Company (http://www.ford.com/ ) ELLE Jewelry (http://www.ellejewelryus.com/ ), , Clarisonic Skincare (http://www.clarisonic.com/ ), Kipling (http://www.kipling-usa.com/ ), Orbit Mist Gum (www.youtube.com/user/OrbitMistGum ), Rose’s Cocktail Infusions (http://www.mixuptheparty.com/ ) and Prairie Organic Vodka (http://www.prairievodka.com/ ). Venue partners include Renaissance New York City Hotels (www.marriott.com/renaissance-hotel/travel.mi ),The Gates (http://www.thegatesnyc.com/ ) and What Goes Around Comes Around (http://www.whatgoesaroundnyc.com/).

Your faithful correspondent will be at the What Goes Around Comes Around party–do come and meet me there! But no touching.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog