Fashion Week Fall 2010 Day Four Report

DAHLINGS –

I arose from my sickbed to return the Bryant Park tents because I know that is what all of my faithful readers demand from me. What would Fashion Week be without my discerning eye and my desire to bring all of it to you, mes fidèles lecteurs? A hollow shell, that’s what.

The untimely death of the genius designer Alexander McQueen has left a pall over New York Fashion Week. The atmosphere isn’t exactly grim, but it is definitely there. On Thursday, each show began with a moment of silence to acknowledge his passing.

I was supposed to start my day with the Simon Spurr show. But in the words of the late, unlamented Phil Rizzuto “WW (wasn’t watching).” It was almost too much to get myself to get myself together to drag myself to the Bryant Park tents. The level of fabulousity I struggle to maintain is hard labor, let me tell you! I was not at my best, which is why there are few photos .

The Diane von Furstenberg show was full of feminine delights and pushy media folk. Yours truly was almost knocked over by a peon with a Canon point and shoot. And still having a terrible cold, as I made my way to my seat, I sneezed on my former BFF, Andre Leon Talley. (The Rachel Zoe incident will take a long time to forgive or forget.) Unlike Alec Baldwin, he was not wearing suede. Be grateful for small favors.

“Bask in my awesome, bitches”

In my haste to get away before an unpleasant scene, I again met my new BFF, Tim Gunn. He was so delighted to see me he pushed Fern Mallis out of the way.

My BFF, Tim Gunn

He particularly admired my mink vintage cigarette case, which I use as a business card holder. When rummaging through my handbag, the fur makes it much easier to find.

I shall never understand the double row of celebrities or whatever they are at the center of the runway. It reminds me oddly of cafeteria seating.

As for the show itself, there was an homage to her famous wrap dress and much of the collection was black. Diane clearly knows how to design for a woman’s body. Her clothes can be worn by woman 19-69.

Model waiting to go on the runway

The finale of the show was a sensational metallic pewter draped dress which on closer examination had a rather strange little edge of blue tulle.

At the end, Diane herself walked the entire runway with her family. There was not a dry eye in the house except for yours truly. I detest cheap sentiment, however sincere.

DVF about to hit the runway

Before the Custo Barcelona show, I was (un)fortunate enough to interview the impossibly fey designer Vassilios Kostetsos, to which I will devote a separate entry. Suffice to say his aversion to larger women is only equaled by Oprah Winfrey’s self-loathing.

The Custo Barcelona show had, like all of his shows, a lot of thumping, thundering noise. With androgynous models speed-walking around the catwalk. Custo Barcelona designs for very young men and women. Since I am not very young, only ageless, he is not “targeting my demo,” so to speak. To be honest, the only way one could tell which sex a model was, was by the size of their thighs. The men have a bit more meat on their legs.

The show was called “Hairy Metal,” which to your faithful correspondent is a truly disgusting image. It translated into something far more palatable, albeit a bit strange: large fuzzy tunics, clothing with random strips of fur applied as though the designer had thrown them against a sweater covered with superglue.

The coats were the strongest part of the show, thick with texture. Even though these designs are for club kids, I could have used one of them in the frigid February weather.

Some of the men’s suits were made out of faux reptile fabric, in yet another evocation of the 1970s. Of all of the decades to be inspired by, why THAT one?

When the designer came out, he wore a color-blocked sweater that underscored that he is too old to wear his own designs. Comment bien triste.

Off to a hot bath and one hopes a lessening of sputum. Next time I might sneeze on Fern Mallis, and that would be the end of the tents pour moi!

More later!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Photos not taken by moi are courtesy of Getty Images

New York Fashion Week, Day One, Part Two

DAHLINGS –

I’ve scrambled my chronology, completely forgetting that I attended the Vena Cava show down at Milk Studios, where the cool kids go to hang out.

Apparently the inspiration for the collection was a long weekend in Woodstock, although you couldn’t tell by moi. This, apparently, is what the designers would wear in Woodstock, alternative capital of the United States:

Need I say more? Somehow there is supposed to be a 1970s influence, but there was not a trace of polyester to be found. Every outfit was accompanied by a squashed black hat, which makes me wonder if this is going to be another Funny Hat themed Fashion Week.

Back uptown, the Farah Angsana show in the Salon was beautiful, magical, and unoriginal. She knows her customer, and sent a parade of magnificent yet monotonous silk dresses, long and short, down the runway. Cobalt blue, rich red, hot pink…to be honest, I would order at least half of them. It seems unfair to criticize something I love, but the collection reminded me of a high-end Oscar de la Renta knock off.

One must be true to oneself, non?

Fashion Week Day Two consisted of lying in bed, coughing up phlegm, and feeling deeply envious that my assistant, wonderful though she is, got to attend the Christian Siriano show.

Damn.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Photos courtesy of Wireimages and Getty Images

New York Fashion Week, Thursday, Feb 11, Part One

DAHLINGS –

Forgive my not having written sooner, but I was struck down by…tonsillitis yesterday! I awoke, barely able to speak, my body all aching and wracked with pain, tote that barge, lift that bale…

My apologies. Mixing ibuprofen and bourbon was perhaps not the smartest thing to do.

HOWEVER, day one of Mercedes Benz Fashion Week was the usual frenzy, and it was delightful to be back. This is the last show in Bryant Park, due to the protests of the locals. (The official spin is that MBFW has “grown too big” for Bryant Park. If it makes you feel better to say that, than do so by all means..)

The strange little man with the painted suits has added an accessory: a young girl with a double belly-button piercing dressed in what can only be called a Hooters version of his outfit. At one point in the evening she opened her cropped (extremely cropped) jacket to expose her breasts, barely contained by a blue demi-bra. Much to their mutual disappointment, flashbulbs did not go off.

Your faithful correspondent was wearing a delightful hat called the Schaperelli (sp) by Ellen Christine, and a long authentic Victorian cape with a velvet collar. It was a wonderful combination of whimsy and intimidation. I was the darling of the paparazzi.

My INVALUABLE assistant, who is so much more intelligent than the lumpkin I am dictating this to, was coaxed into a photo with moi. Note her coy shyness.

There is so much to write about that I am breaking this into two posts. We arrived in time for the Ports 1961 show, which, to be honest, left me deeply unimpressed.

My favorite garment was this silk dress; it is a pity you cannot see the back treatment, plunging deep ruching.

Big hair and, conversely, tight little funny hats were a theme in this show, reminding me of going from flappers to hair bands of the 80s:


Photos courtesy of Wireimage

One strange touch, as you can see above, were huge unwieldy necklaces–why does this one remind me of a pacifier? One worried about the necklaces bouncing upward and hitting the models in the face.

More to follow in my next post…off for another dose of ibuprofen and bourbon.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Red Carpet Issue, A New Documentary With Moi!

DAHLINGS –

I was thrilled to find out that at last the Sundance Channel is airing The Red Carpet Issue, a documentary about the Academy Awards. I am more than ready for my close-up!

As the website states:

“French journalist and filmmaker Olivier Nicklaus explores the mystique, risks and rewards surrounding the fabled red carpet on which designers, stylists, and celebrities vie for the attention of the world’s media. Featuring interviews with red carpet veterans Karl Lagerfeld, Marc Jacobs, Monica Bellucci, Milla Jovovich and Perez Hilton.”

AND your faithful correspondent! I was interviewed during last September’s Mercedes Benz Fashion Week. And of course, my fabulousness is to be seen in The Red Carpet Issue!

http://www.sundancechannel.com/fullfrontalfashion/series/

Do check the link for future showings on the Sundance Channel.

Plus (pardon the pun), I got a lovely write-up from the amazing Curvy Fashionista, whose blog is NECESSARY for those of us who want to be, in her words: Curvy. Confident.Chic.

http://thecurvyfashionista.mariedenee.com/2010/02/the-plus-size-insider-blogging-from-inside-the-tents-at-new-york-fashion-week/

Thank you, Marie!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

New York Fashion Week Fall 2010 Is Nearly Upon Us!

DAHLINGS –

Once again, Mercedes Benz Fashion Week (as they insist you call it) is going to be roaring into New York City next week. And your faithful correspondent is preparing as fast as she can.

Not only will I be wearing items from my extensive collection of plus-sized vintage fashion. But I will also be wearing couture pieces specially designed for moi by:

Mad Couture; Mad Couture designs extreme fashion for plus-sized women.

SKWilbur; SKWilbur fashions show a classic sensibility, an eye for detail and haute couture level construction. http://www.skwilbur.com/ His blog, “I Am Fabulous” is in my Links section.

Hats by David Temple of Los Angeles. His hats are custom creations that merge modern technology with old world materials and craftsmanship. http://www.clevervintageclothing.com/

And once again by Ellen Christine Millinery. Ellen Christine is well known for her extensive editorial work and magnificent one-of-a-kind hats. http://ellenchristine.com/

As you may remember, in September at the Christian Siriano show I met the uber-fabulous Tim Gunn, who admitted he is a fan of my blog! (I blushed and stammered.) And at the Isaac Mizrahi show I upstaged Kathy Griffin, as Women’s Wear Daily attested: http://tinyurl.com/ycojsgd .

This time I intend to dazzle the masses as well as working as hard as humanly possible to bring you the wonders of the runway. (I think my nose grew five inches when I wrote that last sentence, but never mind.)

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The 2010 Grammy Awards – My Worst Dressed

DAHLINGS –

There was simply so much to choose from at the 2010 Grammy Awards, even allowing for the greater freedom and creativity in dress that such an occasion affords. Here, in no particular order, are my Worst Dressed.

I cannot decide which is less flattering, the front or the back of Rihanna’s Elie Saab dress. Not only does the top look like a feather pillowcase exploded in the singer’s vicinity, but the below-the-waist draping says, “Could my hips and butt look any larger? And my head look any tinier? I don’t think so.” There was no photo of the draping in the back, but these photos should suffice:

If that were not bad enough, Rihanna wore this, er, explosion of color at another point in the evening. Somehow those huge puffs remind me of children playing with colored tissue paper in random manner:

Katy Perry claimed she was channeling Betty Page that evening, but Betty would have second thoughts about wearing this dress. This also looks like a child’s do-it-yourself project, with stuck-on glitter flowers on it. Also, one gets tired of women wearing Ms. Page’s signature hairdo. There must be some other iconic pin-up out there we simply haven’t gotten to yet!

And later on, Ms. Perry put her breast foot forward with this mismatched gown:

What can one say about Ke$ha? Well, I can say I have no idea who she is, but she looks more stoned than Amy Winehouse. And that, my dears, is an accomplishment! She probably bought her dress at Ricky’s costume department, and the gold makeup does not a hangover hide.

Even though I adored Lady Gaga’s red carpet look, I thought at first this was Marilyn Manson’s big comeback. Not only that, this is the first time I’ve seen three camel toes.

Not to be mean spirited, but Jennifer Lopez’s strange Versace dress looks like she collided with cheap white plastic fencing at Home Depot while wearing a metallic mini:

(Oh, dear, now I sound like that Little Blond Man in the black sequined disco jacket and jeans…as if he had any business telling someone else how to dress. But he is slightly more tasteful than the Bride of Riverstein.)

Now, I have mixed feelings about criticizing this woman who apparently calls herself Snooki. On the one hand, she is on one of the worst shows on television, Jersey Shore. I wanted to gouge my eyes out after fifteen minutes. Thank God I summer in the Hamptons.

On the other hand, this cheap little dress does celebrate her curves, even with those strange booties. But, cheapness overcomes overweaning self-love. Sorry, Snooki.

Beyonce wore her usual silhouette, this time awkwardly constructed, with boxy shoulders and in an unflattering color.

Ashanti achieved the feat of wearing two dresses at once.

As did Kristine Elazaj.

And Celine (gack) Dion proves that yes, it is possible to have a dress made almost entirely of eye crud.

Britney Spears…ah, poor Britney. Bad enough the press won’t leave her alone, but she didn’t have time to dress. So she threw a large piece of mosquito netting over a black bathing suit. Hope it wasn’t too awkward when she had to go to the ladies room.

Inspired, Ciara decided to wear a more upscale version of this look, with every single piece of black trim they carry at Project Runway’s Mood Fabrics:

There to shill her latest rom-com was Kristen Bell, who was nearly strangled by her dress whenever she stumbled.

Zombie Nicole Kidman was there, in black as befits the undead. However, it wasn’t bad enough to get her on either list. She arrived with husband Keith Urban, who looked terrified that his bride would try to eat his brains. He tried to steer Nicole toward Ryan Seacrest, but Mr. Seacrest saw it coming and was wearing a wreath of garlic.

Finally, I do not know who this Janet Jackson lookalike is, but she had to make the list in this dress that looks like a crumpled gray paper bag.

Feel free to make comments, but do remember that I am always right.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The 2010 Grammy Awards – MY Best Dressed

DAHLINGS –

Deepest apologies from your faithful correspondent. Not only have I neglected to write about the first three episodes of Project Runway, it’s taken until now for me to put together my best and worst dressed for the Grammy Awards. (I plead that my last assistant quit after we had a one-sided game of paintball in my gymnasium; she wasn’t allowed a paint gun because I’m the one with a designer wardrobe, damn it.)

So, without further ado, my choices for the Best Dressed At The Grammy Awards. This is a far less stuffy affair than most award shows, so the participants are freer to express themselves. This can either be a good or a very bad thing. There was so much pure hideousness it was difficult to even put together this list! Forgive me if it is shorter than usual.

For best dressed, my first choice is singer Adam Lambert:

Not only does the “guyliner” work, his outfit reflects his persona perfectly: out and proud, with a style all of his own. I’m in love with the sparkles on this jacket and for some reason he can pull off spiky hair far better than most (are you listening, Rihanna?) Most of the male musicians were either in dark suits or country outfits, yawn.

Next, we have Keri Hilson. I have no idea who this young woman is, but the dress is a classic, and I tend to be a classicist. It is a mermaid gown by Dolce & Gabbana:

Mary J. Blige’s choice of red carpet dress is faultless. This Gucci creation flatters her beautiful body and the color is stunning on her.

Pink entered in an uncharacteristically ladylike gown in ombre tones by Tony Ward. The subtle jeweled embellishment on the waistline and top of the bodice gave it that touch of femininity (which softens the effect that she’ll punch your lights out if you don’t like her dress).

During the awards show Pink did an acrobatic performance in which she did the most amazing imitation of a hotel fire sprinkler that I have ever seen. Since there was nobody on fire in the audience, I hope they did not mind getting drenched.

Gaby Sidibe looked sexy and youthful at the midnight after-Grammys party. This dress is perfect for her shape, quite an improvement from the Golden Globes!

And I have to admit, this dress was very near the top of my list–Lady Gaga!

Although the thing in her hand reminded me of Edward Scissorhands, your faithful correspondent loved the “lightness” of the dress (although it probably weighed a ton). One hopes she didn’t cut too many other people on the red carpet. Although since it is red, perhaps nobody noticed unless their clothes were stained.

I could have done without the shoes, which in close-up looked like an unfortunate fungal infection:

So that is my Grammy Awards Best Dressed List. Feel free to comment, to agree or disagree, but bear in mind that I am always right.

(For the record–pardon the pun–I was bored by Taylor Swift’s gown, and Jennifer Hudson, although in a pretty outfit, was so thin I was dismayed. It is always so sad to see yet another larger lovely buy into the Hollywood anorexia culture.)

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog