Archive | December 2010

I Needed To Post SOMETHING Before the New Year!


I am utterly ashamed of myself, but the holidays have proven happily overwhelming, so I have not paid the attention I should to this blog-thing. To make it up to all of my faithful readers, I herewith give you The Agonizing Death Of An Insect:

If only Bucky the Wonderdog knew how to do that…or perhaps operate a video camera…

Elisa and Bucky the Wonderdog

The Obligatory Twitter Post (Special Guest Star: Jesus)


In today’s faster-than-fast world, emails have been replaced by Facebook messages have been replaced by Twitter. In which you have 140 characters to say your piece. Not 140 words, 140 characters.

There is actually a fine art to writing on Twitter, at least if it’s something more interesting than “I made the most yummy beef stew!” One must craft even the most mundane of statements. Since my writing tends toward the, shall we say, ornate, this has been an onerous task. But challenges are my chocolate covered cherries! (In actuality, I despise chocolate covered cherries, but ‘eclairs’ doesn’t have the same zip.)

So, in the spirit of what every else is doing these days, here is a selection of my tweets over the past two days!

Until they make tampons out of pure spun silk, menses and elegance do not mix.

So, Lindsay Lohan is fired from playing a porn star but is considered a good bet for “DWTS”? I’m not sure which job has less class.

The news that nude photos of Christina Aguilera have been leaked…am I somehow supposed to care? Aren’t there enough of them already?

Wondering if I should do a #FF list of people who can’t stand me? You know who you are, but you’re not following me so you won’t see it.


(The following are the tale of my evening with Jesus, when my chef took the day off and I was forced to fend for myself. )

Good night, lovely Twitter-followers.At least the maid will make me coffee & bring me a croissant tomorrow morning.Pray for me. #chefsdayoff

With my chef taking the day off (the swine), I managed coffee, a croissant and peach preserves brought by the maid. #chefsdayoff

#chefsdayoff For lunch, delivery from Blue Hill. (Yes, if you pay enough) Chicken with Tuscan kale and homemade pasta. Tonight…?

#chefsdayoff BAD start to the evening. Jesus showed up, wanting a cheese sandwich. I told him to make us both BLTs if he wanted them

So Jesus has a hissy fit because he doesn’t want a BLT, he wants grilled cheese made with Swiss cheese and I don’t have any…

I tell Jesus to go to the store if he wants Swiss cheese so much, he says, “I don’t have any POCKETS, you heathen!” Le sigh…

After sulking, he agreed to make grilled cheddar and tomato sandwiches. Jesus is a pretty decent diner-style cook. Unexpected.

The sandwiches were quite good. But Jesus had gotten into the cooking wine (he is NEVER getting the key to the wine cellar)…

So he’s getting drunk on cooking sherry and starts arguing w me abt. my atheism. Jesus keeps yelling at God for a miracle,…

…but does God perform one? No, unless you consider Jesus chugging an entire bottle of cooking sherry w/o gagging a miracle.

Fortunately I had coffee ice cream in the freezer (Jesus LOVES coffee ice cream). Gave him a big dish and he gave me a…

…big goofy smile. There’s something about Jesus drunk, especially when he’s got the crown of thorns on–I must get a picture.

In any event, he’s already dozing on the divan, and it’s not even 8pm. At least if he expects breakfast my chef will be back!

Don’t worry, I have never slept with Jesus, nor do I intend to.He’s far too promiscuous. All those “Jesus loves me” songs, n’cest pas?

Good morning, lovely Twitter-followers! As predicted, Jesus was hungover & cranky this morning. Serves him right, chugging cooking sherry.

#AnnoyingJesus Thank God my chef is back, who served him coddled eggs and a Bloody Mary. Jesus has left my building. Thank goodness.

And there you have a selection of my tweets. Feel free to follow me on Twitter! I promise, Jesus rarely shows up. I really should contact my dear dead friend Lana Turner. It’s been far too long.

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

On Today’s I Don’t Care List…Duracell!


I was sent the photograph below by the lovely people at Duracell batteries, who had some “green” event called Pedaling the Power today. Among the illustrious participants (titles designated by them, not moi):

Carson Kressley, (Fashionista) Robert Verdi, (Fashionista) Tinsley Mortimer, (Fashionista) Charlotte Ronson (Designer) Joey Wolffer (Stylist/ The StyleLiner), Jussara Lee (Designer) Mazdack Rassi (Milk Studios), Jean Pigozzi (Owner, LimoLand store), Eric Goldstein (Owner, The Jean Shop) Charles Nolan (Designer)

The press release had a tremendous amount of blah blah blah about how wonderful Duracell is, how “green” the company is. You know the drill. Why this is supposed to be interesting is beyond me, but here it is. It will be one any number of blogs who will consider it “news.”

Now that I’ve done my job, I deserve a cocktail.


Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog



Despite what I wrote yesterday, some events are simply TOO MARVELOUS not to be promoted!!

100s and 100s of items from Movie Set Wardrobe Departments

Christian Louboutin
Cynthia Rowley
Diane von Furstenburg
Jimmy Choo
Marc by Marc Jacobs
Michael Kors
Miu Miu
Ralph Lauren
Yves Saint Laurent
And many, many more
– All items in New or Like-New Condition
– 50% – 70% off retail
– $50 and up

Cash and All Major Credit Cards Accepted

December 9th and 10th
9:00AM to 7:00PM
December 11th
9:00 AM to 5:00 PM

60 Vestry Street (at Washington)
Ground Floor

See you there, my dears!!!

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Of Blogging, Kathy Griffin, and Bristol Palin


Occasionally I am distressed by my inability to write about the events of my fabulous life in timely fashion. The mad whirl I live in would leave a woman of stronger stuff exhausted–but then, there are no women made of stronger stuff.

However, I do suffer from that deadliest of diseases (besides cancer and oral herpes, of course): PROCRASTINATION.

How often do I tap an exquisitely manicured fingernail on my cheek, thinking, “My, that would make an excellent entry” or “Dear God in Heaven, that person deserves to be written about and PUNISHED!” or “That’s pretty”.

Then the doorbell rings and another celebrity comes for a style consult; or the maid forgets to put the cream in my coffee; or a package arrives with my bespoke kidskin black boots, hand-sewn by the finest child labor, and all thoughts go scattering away.

That, and my assistants are imbeciles. Sometimes I wonder if I should stop hiring assistants who cry easily. They keep making mistakes. But the cringing is so enjoyable.

Life would be easier if I did giveaways, partnerships, and PR. That would generate “content”, which makes me think of air-popped popcorn. Maybe I should have a daily product plug, or a round-up of links, or my entrys could be a collection of my Twitter tweets.

Even that seems like too much work. Ever have one of those days when you don’t feel like sharing your fabulosity? Or you’ve forgotten you’ve locked your assistant in the bathroom to punish her for crying on a Fortuny gowns? Those aren’t Perma-pleats, damn it!

In closing, let me say that ordinarily I would say something critical about Kathy Griffin making fat jokes about Bristol Palin. But…but…she’s BRISTOL PALIN.

Your faithful correspondent has to draw the line somewhere.

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Beauty From The Past: Real Women, Real Stars


I hope you had a delicious Thanksgiving!

A dear friend sent me a link to this. It is possibly one of the EARLIEST uses of color film extant. Shot in 1922, this is a test of Kodachrome film by Kodak.

It lets you see the natural beauty of the women, how they wore their clothes and hair, how they moved their bodies. If some of it seems self-conscious, that is natural, since they being told what to do and how to move by a person behind the camera. The blonde at the end is the 1920s star Mae Murray who had an extremely popular look among women: the bobbed hair and “bee-stung” lips (lips painted into small cupids bows).

Here is some information supplied by a faithful reader:

“In these newly preserved tests, made in 1922 at the Paragon Studios in Fort Lee, New Jersey, actress Mae Murray appears almost translucent, her flesh a pale white that is reminiscent of perfectly sculpted marble, enhanced with touches of color to her lips, eyes, and hair. She is joined by actress Hope Hampton modeling costumes from The Light in the Dark (1922), which contained the first commercial use of Two-Color Kodachrome in a feature film. Ziegfeld Follies actress Mary Eaton and an unidentified woman and child also appear.”

The clothes are what the stylish young lady wore in 1922. Vintage lovers, take note! Watch and enjoy!

Along the same lines is this promotional film, also starring young actresses of the time.

And finally, from 1913 we have the reigning beauty of the 1890s, LILLIAN RUSSELL! She was past her prime, but ten years before she had been the reigning beauty of the day. Her voluptuous proportions were the ideal of the 1890s, later revived by Mae West.

Another benefit of watching old films is that you can see what earlier definitions of “beautiful bodies” were. For instance, look at Clark Gable shirtless, or the chorus girls in any Busby Berkeley musical. Speaking of the latter, a male escort and I were viewing “Golddiggers of 1933.” When the camera zoomed in for a close-up of the legendary Ginger Rogers, he exclaimed, “she has brown teeth!” No, she had natural teeth. Something that has not existed in Hollywood for many years.

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog