The Fashion Show, Episode Four: Foot In Mouth

DAHLINGS –

Due to my hectic schedule and no access to DVR, I only saw the last fifteen minutes of last night’s “The Fashion Show.” Obviously Isaac Mizrahi had been told to tone it down a few notches. Because unless my ears were deceiving me, he had some nice things to say about the designs. The designers’ challenge was to design an outfit based on a pair of shoes. And thank goodness, they were no longer working in teams, but individually! If I’d had to listen to Isaac say “Team Haven” one more time…

Tell me, is there a point in Kelly Rowland’s presence? Although there is something unintentionally humorous about the gravity which with she does her non-job. As if everyone is in on the joke except poor Ms. Rowland. One can almost hear the camera crew stifling their guffaws.

Your faithful correspondent has no idea why anyone likes this dress…am I the only person who thinks it looks like a diaper? It was designed by Angel, and even though she probably had the worst shoes to work with (Stella McCartney), one can only imagine what this would look like worn by an older woman in the Hamptons. Or even a younger woman. Or a man.

Except for the fact that I have taken a liking to Lidia, her dress was awful and I believe she should have gone home, not whoever-the-man was.

This crumpled mess of a dress answers the question: how on earth do you make a professional model look like she has a pot belly? (One thinks that every designer on this show should be BANNED from using TULLE in any form!)

But Merlin’s was far worse. However, his headgear will likely keep him on “The Fashion Show” for at least another few weeks.

I was delighted that Reco won. Except for his penchant for plunging necklines (did we really need to see the star tattoos on his chest?), I enjoy his trash-talking. And yes, this did look tres Balenciaga, but the workmanship was excellent. The strange little hat tied the look perfectly with the cage shoes. Although at a cocktail party, it could wreak havoc with trying to eat hors d’oeuvres.

More later, dahlings, when I am back in New York –

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Way Down South In An Art Lover’s Paradise

DAHLINGS –

Your faithful correspondent is reduced to using a…one can hardly bring oneself to type the words…a hotel’s business center computer. First my assistant quit, simply because I told her she was a moron for shopping at Hamrick’s.

Hamrick’s is a department store in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, and it is the graveyard of style. Or an orgy of ” festively” colored polyester, in colors mankind was never meant to see, let alone wear. In my few days here I have seen more women in polyester pants and baggy t-shirts than in a month in my beloved New York City.

As a final gesture, my assistant did something to my laptop. When I turn it on, all I get is a screensaver of a…well, you don’t really need the details. Suffice to say it involves a donkey and some unusual equipment.

IN ANY EVENT, my stay has been otherwise delightful. My hostess is one of the finest in North Carolina. The only OTHER kink was that one of her other guests was (quelle domage) allergic to dogs! That meant that my darling Bucky and I had to stay elsewhere. At first I was terribly upset.

But the hotel she chose to put us up in (and this is NOT a paid blog post, I do not stoop to those) was simply marvelous, and quite New York-esque. It was called The Sundance Plaza Hotel, Spa and Wellness Center.

It seems that it had been recently bought and converted from a Ramada, and the new owner is an art-lover. So not only is the interior lavishly elegant, Southwestern style, there is art EVERYWHERE! Large iron sculptures, paintings, something wonderful to look at everywhere (except perhaps the janitor’s closet, but I don’t believe I was supposed to look in there). There is a luxurious day spa, where of course I treated myself to a manicure and pedicure. (I do hope my hostess is not upset when she receives the bill. But after all, she knows it is my business to look beautiful.) The staff could not have been more helpful in every way.

Outside, near the very large swimming pool, was a garden called The Sanctuary, and it truly was: winding paths, fenced off with some sort of natural straw-like material (sorry, dear readers, I don’t do nature), and flowers everywhere. Not to mention stone benches and iron chairs in nooks perfect for contemplation.

One only wishes there had been time for contemplation, but one was far too busy meeting with the creme de la creme of WS’s creative community.

On the first floor, there are a series of rooms that are actually small art galleries! At first, I was put in the Maya Angelou room, where there are paintings, poetry, and a biography of Ms. Angelou. However, during my first night there, I could not sleep. A creeping sense of non-specific guilt came over me, and I felt surrounded by self-righteousness. So I asked to be moved to another room, whose name escapes me. (This damned hotel computer will not let me use a search engine, because apparently every site in the world is not safe for children!) The room was filled with paintings and photographs, much more to my taste. I will edit this properly when I am back in my beloved Manhattan.

Now I am in Durham, North Carolina, staying with friends who are not allergic to my darling Bucky. His behavior has been exemplary, save for trying to bite Robert Moody, the music director of the Winston-Salem Symphony. Fortunately, their season is over, so any injuries Mr. Moody might have sustained will have healed by next season.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

More Ramblings on The Fashion Show, Oprah, Kirstie Alley, Etc.

DAHLINGS –

Forgive my lateness in posting, but I have been up to my long-lashed eyelids in trip preparation. Yes, your faithful correspondent is leaving her beloved Manhattan to go to North Carolina. First to stay with one of NC’s finest hostesses, and from there to attend a dear, dear friend’s commitment ceremony.

Yes, I believe in gay marriage and I’m not going to hell. Anyone who disagrees with me is free to go there, however, if I may be so bold.

In any event, I did not manage to get through Episode 3 of “The Fashion Show.” The minichallenge, after Johnny R. blew up at Isaac for not being able to sew last week, was a sort of producer’s revenge. The teams had to do repairs on three garments: a shoulder pad, missing buttons, a broken zipper, and a skirt hem. When Isaac pronounced one misshapen zipper “unforgivable,” well, my apologies, but I hit the Mute button. I only glanced up during the runway show, and noticed that the sleeping bag coat bore a remarkable resemblance to this coat that was sent down a real runway several years ago:

The convertible coat was the winner:

And it was designed by Andrew, who I could not pick out out of a lineup. Markus got the boot and was quite bitter about it. (Serves him right for spelling his name with a “k”.) For more about this episode, you’ll have to read elsewhere. Your faithful correspodent finds “The Fashion Show”…well…unpleasant.

On to other, even more unpleasant topics. The news of the day is that poor Kirstie Alley was in talks with Harpo, Oprah Winfrey’s company, about doing a talk show. However, because of the weight she has gained, she has been replaced by the far thinner Jenny McCarthy. Who has more to offer as a host, one has no idea. But once again:

SHAME on Oprah Winfrey, for AGAIN driving another nail into the coffin of American women’s self esteem, subconsciously because of her own self-loathing, I’m sure. Yes, Kirstie Alley has been inconsistent in her comments about her weight and plans since she was given the boot by Jenny Craig.

But show me a female with a weight problem who ISN’T!

Some say that no-one would care about Kirstie’s weight except Kirstie if she didn’t keep bringing it up! Excuse me, people, but have you read a tabloid over the past two years? With their most unflattering photos of Kirstie Alley getting out of cars, eating, etc., all with screaming headlines such as:

“KIRSTIE PACKS ON THE POUNDS!”

Of course Ms. Alley is crushed that a more conventionally pretty host was chosen over her. Wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t anyone? Personally I would be far more interested in hearing what a woman who struggles with her weight (who is NOT Oprah!) has to say, instead of blaming the victim as Hollywood does.

And yes, the press does that with anorexic stars as well as overweight stars, which means across the board, celebrity females are probably afraid to leave the house in anything but a burkah.

This is exactly how your faithful correspondent likes to start her morning. Utterly disgusted.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Fashion Show, Episode Two: Come Back, Heidi Klum, All Is Forgiven!

DAHLINGS –

So, the second episode of The Fashion Show has been inflicted on the American public. Your faithful correspondent was not impressed. At least they have toned down “Evil Isaac” to “Nasty Isaac.”

After being told last week by “Evil Isaac” that she had no business being in fashion, a weeping Kristin quit the show. So now we won’t have to look at that annoying hair anymore.

As before, Kelly Rowland still has absolutely nothing of value to say during the judging. Thank God for Fern Mallis, or I couldn’t sit through this idiocy. And the ending catchphrase from NI: “We’re not buying it. Bye, darling.” Somehow one doubts that will be on everyone’s lips. With Project Runway, fans said that the designers had been “auf’d.” Saying a designer has been “bye’d” lacks the same zing, don’t you think?

The mini-challenges aren’t worth commenting about, other than they take even more time away from the workroom. AND they have 30 second segments of the actual show? Not teasers, but segments? Thank goodness for fast forward.

And how pathetic is it that the only visible sponsor is Tresemme? When they showed the fabric store, it certainly wasn’t Mood (which your faithful correspondent has visited many times), in fact, they could not show the name on the bags! And the winner gets…

A fashion show on the runway set. In the basement of whatever building that is. Combien peuvent-ils faire de plus faible des enjeux, chers lecteurs?

I never thought I would write this, but I miss Heidi Klum.

Well, most of the time.

This past week’s challenge was to design for…Tinsley Mortimer. Ms. Mortimer is a “socialite”, and she and her husband Topper (in this picture she told him to look at the camera, but this is the best the poor thing could do) are from that elite group that intermarries. Rather like Appalachians, but with far more money.

This is a woman so without personality that a planned reality show about her life was scrapped earlier this year. Do you realize how dull a celebrity has to be to have a reality show about you not even make it to air? (I know this fact because I have my connections.)

“My hair is my trademark,” she claimed about her bleached tinder-dry long bob with bangs. The bangs at least obscured the ridiculous amount of eye makeup she was wearing. Each designer was given $40 to create their outfits. As the young people say, WTF?

The designers were kept in teams, which is meant to promote conflict as these various social misfits clash with each other. Merlin’s flamboyance is starting to grow on me, and I suspect the producers will keep him until he makes something so unforgiveable that it actually catches fire on the runway and burns the poor model to death. Reco looks exactly Jimmy Walker on “Good Times.” One keeps waiting for him to shout “Dy-no-MITE!” I liked his design, if not the clashing colors. (That background designing for strippers is hard to shake off.)

During the 14 hours the designers had to create their pieces, Nasty Isaac and Useless Kelly visited the workroom several times. Determined to be as unlike Tim Gunn as possible, instead of giving constructive criticism and encouragement, Nasty Isaac tears down each design. Or if he can’t think of anything sufficiently vicious to say to the designer, he simply sprinkles some bad karma around. Each time the hosts leave, the designers are visibly more dispirited. WHAT is going on?

Are they going to start waterboarding the designers as we get closer to the Final Four?

Laura was determined to put red tulle on a badly designed dress, despite the efforts of her team to talk her out of it. And the back! Dear God, the back!

During the final judging, an awful lot time is taken up with of groups of people getting up, sitting down, getting up, sitting down. I was starting to nod off from boredom, so I’m not certain why. Bucky was sleeping in my lap, so he was of no help.

Suffice to say that Daniella won for a cute jumpsuit with a transparent bomber jacket, nothing special except for a floppy blue bow that was completely out of place. Ms. Mortimer, the fourth judge, would “totally wear it.”

The loser was going to be either Laura and Johnny R., whose dress not only promised to malfunction on the runway (thank goodness models barely have breasts), but was put together with safety pins. When criticized, Johnny R. and Isaac had a bitch-slapping contest. Not smart, Johnny dahling. Isaac is the host, you fool. Obvious to us, perhaps, but not to Top-Knot Guy. (Unfortunately for moi, the nickname Samurai Guy is already taken.)

Backstage, Isaac pretended to be foaming-at-the-mouth furious while Kelly pretended to restrain him. The choice was between “bad attitude and bad dress.” I’m sure after consultation with the producers, they went for bad dress. Quel mauvais. Top-Knot Guy is more telegenic, and I’m sure we can look forward to more outbursts in the future.

Or you can look forward to it. I might wait for the real thing to come along later in the season, on Lifetime.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Plus Size Vintage At My Fashiondig Shop!

DAHLINGS –

There is simply beautiful merchandise on my Fashiondig shop, The Mad Fashionista’s Plus Size Boutique! Please do follow the link on the right and take a look. Here are some pieces to whet your appetite.

1930s Royal Doulton brooch and clip earrings

1960s cashmere long jacket with genuine broadtail collar, size XL

1970s maxi dress with rhinestone trim, size L

Sheared beaver jacket with rolled collar and cuffs, size XXL

1960s silk shantung embroidered dress, size L

And oh, so much more! Do stop by and take a look!

Must dash–more later, dahlings!

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog

From WWD: Mayor Bloomberg & Anna Wintour

DAHLINGS –

From today’s scoop at Women’s Wear Daily:

CALLING ALL CUSTOMERS: Details of a far-reaching consumer initiative to take place this fall are expected to be unveiled sometime next week with New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, Vogue’s Anna Wintour, designers and retail executives providing a united front in an attempt to jump-start business. The initiative is believed to have the participation of top city retailers and will come at a time when stores have been hard-hit by recession. Vacant storefronts are cropping up, tourism is off and layoffs have plagued several industries, from publishing to Wall Street. Activities will likely include various special events, from personal appearances to extended shopping hours, to lure customers back into the stores.

Personally, I think they had better start much sooner to halt the downward toboggan-esque slide of New York’s economy. For more, follow this link:

http://www.wwd.com/fashion-news/fashion-scoops/fans-in-cannes-wintours-stimulus-golden-oldies-2136786?page=2&src=bblast/051509/a

Project Runway on Steroids: The Fashion Show

DAHLINGS –

Now that Bravo has lost “Project Runway,” they have seen fit to create, as they say in the fashion business, a knock-off. “The Fashion Show.” Oh yes, the trim is different, perhaps the skirt is shorter and the material is definitely cheaper. But the echoes are there, and not to the show’s advantage.

It is not meant to be “Project Runway”–there is no Tim Gunn mentoring the designers, the fashions are displayed at the end before a live audience–but of course the spirit of its predecessor hovers over the program. Fifteen designers compete to become the Final Four, with an elimination each week.

By far the best part of the show, IMO, was the runway show. The set is well-designed, and the excitement of a live audience makes it feel almost like we are watching a real fashion show. However, the lack of time spent in the workroom was a problem. Your faithful correspondent watches “Project Runway” to see the designers design, create and execute the challenges, but there was so much hugger-mugger on this show that the workroom barely had a cameo appearance.

It seems that the producers are trying to up the annoyance quotient with the designers, making it easier to root for them to be eliminated: Merlin, winner of the first week’s challenge, a squeaky gentleman from Honduras, managed to wear the most irritating headgear since Madonna’s appearance at the Metropolitan Museum Costume Gala.

And if he’s 38, I’m five feet tall.

Johnny R., who has a topknot and is prone to other annoying things on his head; and Kristin, who has simply settled for annoying hair.

Most of the other designers have yet to display much personality.

Isaac, Kelly, and Fern, oh my!

The two hosts are designer/unable to escape from media personality Isaac Mizrahi and singer Kelly Rowland. Where her fashion credibility lies escapes your faithful correspondent, but she hasn’t had a hit single in some time and she’s very photogenic. (I think that’s about it, so far, unless she has an evil twin side that hasn’t come out yet.) Isaac, who I have adored ever since he declared “fat is the new black” two years ago, is amazingly cruel in his comments to the young designers, and almost none of the show outside of the workroom seemed spontaneous. Honestly, I don’t know why they bothered to show Isaac and Kelly interacting; it felt as stiff as high school theater. Fern Mallis, at least, is the senior vice president at IMG, which produces Fashion Week.

The challenge was to produce a “must-have” item and design a collection around it, the designers working in teams. But honestly, baggy purple satin harem pants as a “must-have” item?

The other choices were a black bolero jacket, and an extremely tight camel-colored wool tube skirt/dress/sprained ankle bandage.

One hoped that Kristin would get the boot both for that hideous Alice in Wonderland on acid dress and then one wouldn’t have to look at her hair again. (She concealed the tube skirt under all of that fuss.)

But, instead, Jonny (without an R)was let go because of his “slutty,” amazingly tight dress. He went in the opposite direction and showcased the skirt! When an emaciated model can’t fit into something, you know that the designer has an experience problem.

To sum up, the show isn’t good, it isn’t bad, it’s watchable, and like every other competition show on Bravo. At least it’s something to watch now that “House” has had its season finale.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

I’m on Collectibles Corner TV, Dahlings!

DAHLINGS –

Amidst the chaos caused by my illness, etc. I COMPLETELY neglected to mention that some time ago I was interviewed by the delightful Tammy Jane Ferrell on her video site, “Collectibles Corner TV” (http://www.collectiblescovertv.com/category/past-episodes/)!

It is episodes 13 and 14. The first aired, I am ashamed to admit, on April 27! They are eminently worth watching, as are many of the other episodes. I highly recommend this site for collectors, sellers and anyone interested in collectibles.

Back to bed! I mean it this time. Thank goodness Bucky is still curled up there, waiting for my return, my little darling. Now if only he would stop biting the dogwalker…why didn’t the maid train him to use Wee-Wee pads??

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Ramblings On Kirstie Alley, Susan Boyle, and Others

DAHLINGS –

I have the flu! NOT the swine flu, I hasten to add, but whatever it is, my head is banging and my body is not to be used for pleasure anytime soon.

However, I was determined to rise from my bed of nails to offer some random observations. My readers deserve that much.

SHAME on Kirstie Alley for calling herself “disgusting” after gaining 83 pounds. It’s one more nail in the coffin of American women’s self-esteem. She now looks more like the general population, are they “disgusting”? (I hear the diet experts getting on their high horses even as I dictate this.)

Only if they dress badly.

The woman was paid to lose weight, and probably went against both her natural inclinations and body type to do so. She’d had the guts to make the show “Fat Actress,” and of all places she appears on “Oprah,” which has become the pinnacle of heavy women’s self-loathing, to declare herself disgusting. The declaration is disgusting, not the weight gain. That reminds me–

SHAME on Valerie Bertinelli for her Jenny Craig bikini ads. According to the media, she went on a special semi-fast and workout regimen to get her body ready for the ad, which makes it more dishonest than a Dick Cheney memoir. Women everywhere will curse their bodies for not being able to force them to look like Ms. Bertinelli’s.

THE SUSAN BOYLE BACKLASH – while I’m glad she plucked her eyebrows (I do have some standards, mes amis), I do wish she had not dyed her hair. It’s now that strange chocolate red-brown usually sported by aging male movie stars, without the blonde highlights. (Yes, I’m talking about you, Al Pacino.) I rather preferred Susan’s natural silver, it was far more flattering to her coloring.

One cannot understand the sudden outburst of bile toward the poor woman–she is wonderfully talented, and no matter the media machine tries to do to her, she will always remain perfectly (and I mean that in the most flattering sense) ordinary. By that, I mean, think back to Shirley Booth.

Booth was a highly respected actress on stage and screen who created, among other characters, the original Dolly Levi in “The Matchmaker,” before it was turned into “Hello, Dolly.” Later, of course, she appeared on television as “Hazel”.

KUDOS to Beth Ditto, Adelle, and Kelly Clarkson, all women who revel in their respective body sizes.

One sign of the apocalypse will be when Beth Ditto appears as a Jenny Craig spokeswoman.

Back to bed…

Ciao,
Elisa and Bucky the Wonderdog

Alaïa Calls Anna Wintour "A Dictator"! Quel Horror!

DAHLINGS –

Today’s entry was sent to me by Stephanie Adlerstein of Conde Nast, about the Alaia kerfuffle concerning the Metropolitan Museum Costume Institute Show, courtesy of Women’s Wear Daily:

WEAR AND TEAR: Azzedine Alaïa isn’t easing up on his anger over the Costume Institute exhibit “The Model as Muse” and the Monday night gala — but perhaps it’s misplaced. Alaïa is upset none of his designs were included in the exhibit and yanked seven dresses due to be worn to the gala by his longtime muses, including Naomi Campbell (shown below in Alaia), Stephanie Seymour and Linda Evangelista, none of whom showed.

But Harold Koda, curator in charge of the Costume Institute, on Thursday explained to WWD why the exhibit featured no Alaïa garments. Cathy Horyn of The New York Times claimed in a blog item Monday that “[Alaïa] was not fully informed by the Met about the subject of the show, nor was he invited to attend the opening.” Koda noted to WWD that early on during the show’s conception, several ideas were tossed around, including asking some of the supermodels for their Alaïa dresses. After all, he explained, the supermodels, in the early part of their careers, were closely aligned to the designer and had a symbiotic relationship with him. Before approaching the models, however, he wanted to make sure Alaïa was comfortable to see his work in the show. “I felt it was a courtesy to approach the designer,” Koda said. “By coincidence, a mutual friend was having dinner with him in Paris the very following night, and I said, ‘Will you tentatively ask him whether or not he would be comfortable with this?’ When she came back, she said he is really not comfortable, so we never pursued approaching the supermodels for their dresses.”

Koda stressed that while Alaïa was never formally approached, he was approached nevertheless. “We would have loved to have had his pieces in the show, but there was a lot of miscommunication,” Koda said. “Maybe it was oversensitivity on my part in broaching it informally rather than with a formal letter. Nobody is to blame. My understanding was that he didn’t want his work in the show,” Koda added, “So I honored it.”

Alaïa, though, blames someone else: Anna Wintour. The designer criticized the Vogue editor in chief to both Horyn and, on Thursday, to WWD, claiming Wintour has snubbed his work for the past 15 years and saying “she behaves like a dictator and everyone is terrified of her…but I’m not scared of her or anyone.” The designer, speaking at his Paris residence where the seven unworn dresses now hang, vowed to loan them out for editorials and to continue his campaign. Maybe he should just pick up the phone and call Koda instead?

— Katya Foreman and Marc Karimzadeh

Your faithful correspondent hopes that this is not in any way true? My idol, Anna Wintour, snubbing Azzedine Alaïa? More will be revealed, I am certain!

There’s more to be read at http://www.wwd.com/media-news/fashion-memopad/memo-pad-alaia-aloud-what-michelle-o-really-wore-townsend-honored-2126512?src=bblast/050809

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog