Love, Loss & What I Wore During NY Fashion Week

DAHLINGS –

Well, Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Spring 2010 has faded from memory…almost. How to describe the freezing outer tent, the steamingly hot runway tents, the many fashionistas sneezing, coughing and wheezing as we all caught the flu? After it was over, your faithful correspondent took to her bed. And it means something when I take to my bed alone.

Even though my reportage was cut down in its prime, nevertheless I feel it my duty, mes amis, to share with you some belated reports. This first post is devoted to the fabulous fashion that adorned my equally fabulous body.

On Day 5, I was photographed for a Japanese newspaper in a stunning ensemble by Mad Couture, made in green with zipper trim, and a fabulous custom-made hat from Ellen Christine! Note that the photographer made certain to have me stand next to a woman of average height.

On Day 7, I again wore a phenomenal Ellen Christine creation…there are no photographs that do it or moi justice! It was a tower of peacock plumes and blue glitter, which I wore to the Milliners Guild show. “Hothouse Flowers Of The Runway,” about which more in a future entry. Suffice to say both my assistant Lola and I agreed it was the single most enjoyable show of the entire Spring Fashion Week!

At Ms. Christine’s request, I wore my own 1950s cocktail dress and backward-fastening jacket. I only wish that in many of these photographs I had remembered to put my press pass behind my shapely back!

On Day 8, although running a temperature, I managed to look splendid in a 1980s Watters & Watters gown and a top hat custom-made for me by Ellen Christine Millinery. This odd pose is because I was sniffing the sad smell of failure at the Trias show. Pity.

I shall be writing up more Fashion Week memories (it’s the most dignified thing to call them) tres soon. But it is this writer’s duty to have you admire me first.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

SAVE THE DATE! April 6, join NYC Women UNITE

DAHLINGS –

When I received this from that formidable, wonderful organization, The Three Tomatoes (link on the right sidebar), I knew that I had to publish it. Violence against women is a worldwide problem, and anything that can be done about it is to be encouraged.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog

Calling all New York Metro Women:

Please join us on April 6, 2010 and Say Yes to “Say NO”

Did you know that violence against women is a worldwide pandemic?
Approximately 1 out of every 3 women worldwide has been beaten, coerced into sex, or otherwise abused in her lifetime. It happens everywhere – at home and at work, on the streets and in schools, during peacetime and in conflict. Violence against women and girls has far- reaching consequences, harming families and communities, stunting human development, and undermining economic growth. Everyone has a role to play in combating this global pandemic.

The time to act together is NOW.

Please join the Metro New York Chapter of the US National Committee for UNIFEM, The Three Tomatoes and several other leading women’s organizations on April 6, 2010 to show your support for the United Nations/UNIFEM campaign “Say NO – UNiTE to End Violence against Women” .This is a global call for action on ending violence against women and girls through social mobilization.

The Highlights:

Date: April 6, 2010

Time: 6 to 9 PM

What: A wine and hors d’eouvres reception followed by an esteemed panel discussion on women and violence, and a call to action via the “Say No- Unite” initiative.

Place: Taipei Cultural Center 1 E. 42nd Street, New York City

Tickets: $25.00
The ticket cost is a donation to The US National Committee for UNIFEM a 501(c)(3) charitable organization. Donations are tax deductible to the extent allowable by U.S. law and the IRS Code.

For information and to purchase tickets visit: http://www.thethreetomatoes.com/SayNoUnite.html

By Check: Please make checks payable to UNIFEM USNC NY and mail with your name and contact information to Cheryl Benton, 330 E. 38 St., #49P, New York, NY 10016.

We Interrupt This Blog…

DAHLINGS –

Once again, the demands of LIFE, such as it is, has interfered with my ability to bring you my discerning take on all things important.

However, I promise, within the week:

1) An essay on Season Seven of Project Runway (it is Seven, isn’t it??)

2) Two entries wrapping up Fashion Week from last month, with pictures.

Until then, I’m off to yet another fashion event…no rest for the weary…or is it wicked? Doesn’t matter.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The 2010 Academy Awards Worst Dressed

DAHLINGS –

Now that I have brought you the Best Dressed, it’s time for my choices for the 2010 Academy Awards Worst Dressed. There were so many choices. The trends for this award show were strapless dresses and ruffles, ruffles and more ruffles. Very few one-shoulder gowns, which was refreshing. So here they are.

We begin with the hands-down winner for not only the ugliest dress, but the ugliest hairdo (the photos do not do it justice: imagine three huge blonde balloons fastened to the back of the head) and the most over-exercised shoulders.

SARAH JESSICA PARKER

Not to sound like Little Blond Man on cable, but oh, the humanity! The metal breastplate, the back metal breastplate, the butt jewelry…where does it end? No wonder Matthew Broderick looked so uncomfortable all evening. Who wants to be seen with a Chrysler hood ornament? And how did she sit down without that big lump of metal sticking into her butt? Is she trying to channel 60s Barbra Streisand? (Who, by the way, has had a face lift that has left her with such tight skin that if you shake her hand, she nods.) This was Chanel Couture.

This probably means that Sarah won’t be making me custom scented soap anymore. Sorry, dahling, but one must tell the truth.

However, there was a close runner-up:

DIANE KRUGER

What is with that shredded toilet paper skirt? That Victorian black bordello trim? Jaws dropped as she made her way down the red carpet, and not in a good way. Is this a vintage 1890s salvaged gown where they cut away the rotted parts? No, it is Chanel once again. The grinding sound you hear is Coco Chanel rotating in her grave.

The rest, is no particular order, are:

CHARLIZE THERON

What was she thinking? “My breasts are so small that I must make everyone notice how tiny they are”? “Nobody cares that I’m here so I’m going to wear a REALLY UGLY DRESS so I get photographed and talked about. I NEED PUBLICITY, PEOPLE!” Actually, the more I look at this Christian Dior mess, the more it looks as though a lilac-colored alien being is reaching its lobster-like claws around her chest.

SANDRA BULLOCK

It certainly was thrifty of her to dash into David’s Bridal that morning and find this on the sale rack.

SAMANTHA HARRIS

Another member of the overworked-out crowd, why TV personality Samantha Harris chose this ill-fitting gown with its confusing neckline eludes me. I think she may be suffering from Charlize Theron syndrome: NOTICE ME, DAMMIT!

AMANDA SEYFRIED

The young actress managed to find an Armani Prive’ dress that did the opposite: erased her personality. One must confess, the plethora of actresses wearing updos and slicked back hair got awfully tiresome, as seen here.

BOBBLEHEAD GIRL

This is the gaunt woman who works alongside Little Blond Man, critiquing the fashions as they come down the runway. They had to pleat her chest to give her cleavage. God, if only women like this would wear sleeves! The world would be a better place.

DEMI MOORE

As has been noted, it was raining at the Academy Awards that night. Poor Demi Moore and her Atelier Versace gown obviously got caught in a downpour, judging from the sad drowned ruffles and the disheveled hair. I hope she was toweled down shortly after this photograph was taken.

KRISTEN STEWART

Her hunched posture and scowl certainly did not add to the fact that this Monique Lhuillier dress is simply too old for her. Maybe that’s why she was scowling? “Mooom, I want to wear Custo Barcelona!”

MILEY CYRUS

Speaking of hunched posture, Miley managed to maintain this uncomfortable and unflattering pose all evening. Perhaps her backless longline bra was too short? She borrowed both the dress and the hairdo from her grandmother, it seems. (However, next to her mother, Miley looked like a beacon of good taste.) One suspects her father encouraged her to wear this outfit.

TOO MUCH DRESS

This had to be a separate category all its own, because so many actresses chose enormous gowns that, in some cases, caused tragedy (to be described below). No, zombie Nicole Kidman was not roaming backstage, looking for brains to eat.

ZOE SALDANA

Where to start? The strange tissue paper flamenco styling that looks as though the purple had vomited out the bottom of the skirt? The hideous color pallette? The strange, unflattering bodice? The little tiny head at the top of this mess? Oh, well, if you wanted B-picture drama on the red carpet, this was your gown. By Givenchy, no less.

RACHEL McADAMS

Actually, it’s rather charming that Ms. McAdams made her dress herself, tie-dying the cloth and then basting it together. She got carried away with the skirt, however. Ms. McAdams gets that way sometimes.

JENNIFER LOPEZ

My first thought upon seeing this Armani Prive’ gown was that Jennifer Lopez was trying to make her husband Marc Anthony even more inconspicuous. Why does he bother to leave the house anymore? My second thought was that the piece sticking out of the ice pink bodice could easily be snapped off. And that perhaps the entire dress was made from that thin foamboard children play with in first grade. Fortunately, in case something like that happened, she was carrying a huge pink handkerchief attached to her hip to clean up any mess.

VERA FARMIGA

And she looked so beautiful in Up In The Air. This is the tragedy I alluded to above: another actress devoured by her own dress. Shortly after she left the Academy stage, screams were heard coming from the ladies room. Witnesses who rushed in have reported that Farmiga was gone. There was only a huge heap of ruffles on the tiled floor. Another senseless couture tragedy.

So there you have it. Please feel free to comment, agree or disagree. But remember; I am always right.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The 2010 Academy Awards Best Dressed

DAHLINGS –

As I trawl the Internet to bring you tid-bits for my blog-thing, I am truly amazed by the variety of opinions I find on the gowns worn by the actresses at the Academy Awards. Awash in strapless columns and ruffles, the readers do not know where to turn!

Fortunately, you no longer have to be confused, because I am here to guide you.

ZOE KRAVITZ

The actress daughter of Lenny Kravitz looks radiant in a white and red gown that is simplicity itself. Even if her father’s music is derivative, Zoe clearly has her own sense of style.

KATHRYN BIGELOW

Even before I knew she was the Oscar-winning director of the Oscar-winning film The Hurt Locker (nyah-nyah, James Cameron!) I thought she was one of the best dressed women on the red carpet. This titanium silk YSL dress makes the most of her beautiful figure.

MO’NIQUE

What makes this Tadashi Shoji look particularly special is that the actress (who won for Best Supporting) is saluting Hattie McDaniel, the first African-American ever to win an Oscar, by wearing blue and a flower in her hair. As Ms. McDaniels did all those years ago.

SUSAN DOWNEY

Not only does Susan have the finest arm candy of the evening in husband Robert Downey Jr., her dress fits perfectly, and displays individuality and flair in the best way possible. (The worst possible ways will be in my next entry.)

GABBY SIDIBE

She coined the immortal line, “If fashion is porn, then I am the money shot!” (If that has to be explained to you, go ask your parents.) This beautiful blue gown is by Marchesa. My only disappointment is that she again lost the Best Actress Award to Sandra Bullock, who has been winning so many awards she might as well phone in her awards speech.

MERYL STREEP

Stunning once again in a gown by my darling Chris March! The man can do ANYTHING! She looks poised, age-appropriate, and very sexy. Her hair and jewelry complement her dress perfectly.

MARISKA HARGITAY

She made Worst Dressed on my last list, but let’s face it, how many of today’s actresses know how to work a strapless gown to the hilt? This dark blue number makes the most of her many assets.

QUEEN LATIFAH

What can one say? (If you think I’m going to say “All Hail The Queen” I’ll slap you silly.) She knows herself, she knows the red carpet, she has it down to a beautiful science. All women should be so effortlessly comfortable with themselves.

CHRISTINA HENDRICKS

She is actually attending Elton John’s fabled Oscar After-Party, but she looks so fabulous I had to include her on my list. Even if the photograph is from a terrible angle. I’ll wager the photographer stood on a chair. They used to do that to Marilyn, too.

So there are my picks. Feel free to comment, to agree or disagree, or to mention someone I’ve left out. For the record, Maggie Gyllenhall and Sigourney Weaver both looked lovely, but not quite up to this particular standard. Of course, Alec Baldwin looked…well, hot is the only word I can think of. Oh, dear, I need to go off and fan myself. That is not a euphemism.

And remember, I am always right.

Ciao,
Elisa and Bucky The Wonderdog

*All images courtesy of Getty and Wireimage

The 2010 Academy Awards LIVE

DAHLINGS –

I’m in Los Angeles, doing my level best not to cough on anyone famous (ESPECIALLY Alec Baldwin). Ryan Seacrest is working the Red Carpet (he works so much I’m beginning to believe he’s a gay cyborg).

Bobblehead Girl is babbling about live-texting your votes for the Academy Awards winners. Who cares what the rabble think? They don’t, but it fills up the airtime.

So far I’m watching the celebrities come down the red carpet, and trying not to get pushed over by two nonentities from TV. Amanda Seyfried looks like she’s wearing fish scales. Oh, god, Little Blond Man is on. I might start retching.

Later,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Mad Fashionista Has Returned

DAHLINGS –

This will only be a short entry. Suffice to say that the last few weeks have been quite frustrating.
My cough was so severe that I could not even dictate to my assistant (the office moron, not my fabulous New York Fashion Week assistant!). Then, she claimed to be sick herself, and has not returned. So once again, I must contact the employment agency. What is wrong with all of them? I do my best to exercise nobless oblige, but to no avail.

In coming days, I shall finish posting my belated thoughts on New York Fashion Week, and other, more current events. But for now I must ring for the maid. My prescription cough medicine awaits.

This brings the wishes that all who are reading this are in good health, and wishing me a speedy recovery.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog*

*Who has been a major consolation in my time of need, unlike others.