Deepest apologies, once again, for taking so long to get back to you, but I was whisked to fabulous PALM BEACH by a famous male celebrity for an early Christmas celebration. We stayed at the historic Breakers, but barely saw the sun, if you know what I mean. SUCH a divine change from frigid, dark Manhattan! But now I am back to the workaday world, and that means YOU.
Last week’s episode, which I had Tivo’d, was by FAR the best episode of Project Runway so far this season. I know, that is not saying much. This season has been a yawn, except for Ricky’s crying and the strange close-ups of Donna Karan’s face on the previous episode. (I expect to see it on the site Awful Plastic Surgery. Her face looked like a strangely smooth potato.)
Here’s an idea: having a drink every time Ricky cries would make a wonderful drinking game with your friends during Project Runway viewing parties.
I applaud the women for losing weight (although I am in favor of plus sizes). And it was certainly refreshing to see real women on the runway instead of those awful amateur models clumping awkwardly up and down.
While I was sorry to see Jack leave, my darling adorable cuddly CHRIS MARCH is back! One must confess, tears came to my eyes when they read the note he left in the workroom. Tears also came to my eyes when I saw his outfit…can’t he GET it about the costume problem? But they let him stay, that is the important part.
Elisa should be have been smacked into next week for that HIDEOUS outfit! You could not have more masterfully designed a dress made to look a heavy woman look stumpier, lumpier and wider than Tracy actually is! A big belt on a thick waist, an 80s style jacket with short sleeves, all the proportions disastrous! Bad enough Spitting Earth Goddess probably had saliva dripping all over that costume, but then to put BOOTS on her client’s lovely slim legs, Tracy’s best asset, for the finishing touch! One fantasizes that Elisa was “auf’d” and then a gang of heavy female bikers beat her up in the alley outside of Parsons.
Victorya (I cannot write that name without hearing the old Kinks song) designed a dress that was almost as boring as Steven’s. Working with green velvet on a handsome redhead, she might have come up with something a little less…sleep-inducing. I am still having fits of narcolepsy. I did notice what short shrift the less dramatic and well-made designs got, whipping by within seconds.
But Steven…what a catastrophic disappointment. When Tim Gunn questioned him in the fabric store about buying miles of BLACK stretch fabric, I knew Mr. Dimples’s doom was sealed. Yes, the wedding dress was an atrocity, but one goes with the flow in that case! Mesh! Pearls! Lace!
Imagine what CHRIS would have done with it—or even little Hairthing! Actually, I would have loved to see what Hairthing would have done with it. How would he have made one of his exactly alike tailored little jackets with it? Boggles the imagination, doesn’t it?
Not to begrudge Christian’s win, I felt Kevin should have won for that super-sexy bustier.
Contrary to popular opinion, real women over the age of twenty look marvelous in strapless things, and Elyse, his client, worked it. She looked so divinely happy as she came down the runway! As did Rami’s client (who was on for about a nanosecond). Could someone tell me what on earth was going on with Heidi Klum’s bangs? Did they keep tangling with her false eyelashes? And what was that white powder on her calf during the judging? Could she have spilled her cocaine prior to filming?
Besides the return of Chris, my favorite moment was Tim Gunn’s confession that he’d made more bad decisions at 3 in the morning than he could list! Like Steven, I wanted names!
As for Jack, he seems to be quite all right, as this hilarious video that he posted to YouTube proves:
Who knew the man could dance? And what a body!
Now I’ve discovered that the show is on hiatus until January 2nd, the slackers.
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog