Jennifer Hudson May Be Thin, But…

DAHLINGS –

I have avoided the topic of Jennifer Hudson as a spokesperson for Weight Watchers. Although I believe that we shall have Kirstie Alley 2.0 on our hands in a few years. (After all, didn’t sports commentator Mike Golic shed pounds on Nutrisystem, gain it all back and is now shilling for another weight loss gambit? Twas ever thus.)

However, this photo of Ms. Hudson at LAX simply cried out for commentary:

Not only because of the madly unflattering combination of leggings and tight purple lace shirt, not only because of the camel toe, but also the fact that Ms. Hudson can be clearly seen wearing SPANX underneath all of that. Good God, woman, why bother losing all of the weight if you still feel obligated to wear constricting undergarments?

Your faithful correspondent is not recommending constricting undergarments, although she has been known to wear waist cinchers when in vintage dresses. But truly, what is the point of being held up as an example of slenderness if you still have to wear Spanx? Or feel that you have to wear Spanx? Isn’t the point of the exercise to not wear Spanx?

Just an idle, slightly outraged thought, dahlings. Feel free to have your say in the comments section.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

More Ramblings on The Fashion Show, Oprah, Kirstie Alley, Etc.

DAHLINGS –

Forgive my lateness in posting, but I have been up to my long-lashed eyelids in trip preparation. Yes, your faithful correspondent is leaving her beloved Manhattan to go to North Carolina. First to stay with one of NC’s finest hostesses, and from there to attend a dear, dear friend’s commitment ceremony.

Yes, I believe in gay marriage and I’m not going to hell. Anyone who disagrees with me is free to go there, however, if I may be so bold.

In any event, I did not manage to get through Episode 3 of “The Fashion Show.” The minichallenge, after Johnny R. blew up at Isaac for not being able to sew last week, was a sort of producer’s revenge. The teams had to do repairs on three garments: a shoulder pad, missing buttons, a broken zipper, and a skirt hem. When Isaac pronounced one misshapen zipper “unforgivable,” well, my apologies, but I hit the Mute button. I only glanced up during the runway show, and noticed that the sleeping bag coat bore a remarkable resemblance to this coat that was sent down a real runway several years ago:

The convertible coat was the winner:

And it was designed by Andrew, who I could not pick out out of a lineup. Markus got the boot and was quite bitter about it. (Serves him right for spelling his name with a “k”.) For more about this episode, you’ll have to read elsewhere. Your faithful correspodent finds “The Fashion Show”…well…unpleasant.

On to other, even more unpleasant topics. The news of the day is that poor Kirstie Alley was in talks with Harpo, Oprah Winfrey’s company, about doing a talk show. However, because of the weight she has gained, she has been replaced by the far thinner Jenny McCarthy. Who has more to offer as a host, one has no idea. But once again:

SHAME on Oprah Winfrey, for AGAIN driving another nail into the coffin of American women’s self esteem, subconsciously because of her own self-loathing, I’m sure. Yes, Kirstie Alley has been inconsistent in her comments about her weight and plans since she was given the boot by Jenny Craig.

But show me a female with a weight problem who ISN’T!

Some say that no-one would care about Kirstie’s weight except Kirstie if she didn’t keep bringing it up! Excuse me, people, but have you read a tabloid over the past two years? With their most unflattering photos of Kirstie Alley getting out of cars, eating, etc., all with screaming headlines such as:

“KIRSTIE PACKS ON THE POUNDS!”

Of course Ms. Alley is crushed that a more conventionally pretty host was chosen over her. Wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t anyone? Personally I would be far more interested in hearing what a woman who struggles with her weight (who is NOT Oprah!) has to say, instead of blaming the victim as Hollywood does.

And yes, the press does that with anorexic stars as well as overweight stars, which means across the board, celebrity females are probably afraid to leave the house in anything but a burkah.

This is exactly how your faithful correspondent likes to start her morning. Utterly disgusted.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

Ramblings On Kirstie Alley, Susan Boyle, and Others

DAHLINGS –

I have the flu! NOT the swine flu, I hasten to add, but whatever it is, my head is banging and my body is not to be used for pleasure anytime soon.

However, I was determined to rise from my bed of nails to offer some random observations. My readers deserve that much.

SHAME on Kirstie Alley for calling herself “disgusting” after gaining 83 pounds. It’s one more nail in the coffin of American women’s self-esteem. She now looks more like the general population, are they “disgusting”? (I hear the diet experts getting on their high horses even as I dictate this.)

Only if they dress badly.

The woman was paid to lose weight, and probably went against both her natural inclinations and body type to do so. She’d had the guts to make the show “Fat Actress,” and of all places she appears on “Oprah,” which has become the pinnacle of heavy women’s self-loathing, to declare herself disgusting. The declaration is disgusting, not the weight gain. That reminds me–

SHAME on Valerie Bertinelli for her Jenny Craig bikini ads. According to the media, she went on a special semi-fast and workout regimen to get her body ready for the ad, which makes it more dishonest than a Dick Cheney memoir. Women everywhere will curse their bodies for not being able to force them to look like Ms. Bertinelli’s.

THE SUSAN BOYLE BACKLASH – while I’m glad she plucked her eyebrows (I do have some standards, mes amis), I do wish she had not dyed her hair. It’s now that strange chocolate red-brown usually sported by aging male movie stars, without the blonde highlights. (Yes, I’m talking about you, Al Pacino.) I rather preferred Susan’s natural silver, it was far more flattering to her coloring.

One cannot understand the sudden outburst of bile toward the poor woman–she is wonderfully talented, and no matter the media machine tries to do to her, she will always remain perfectly (and I mean that in the most flattering sense) ordinary. By that, I mean, think back to Shirley Booth.

Booth was a highly respected actress on stage and screen who created, among other characters, the original Dolly Levi in “The Matchmaker,” before it was turned into “Hello, Dolly.” Later, of course, she appeared on television as “Hazel”.

KUDOS to Beth Ditto, Adelle, and Kelly Clarkson, all women who revel in their respective body sizes.

One sign of the apocalypse will be when Beth Ditto appears as a Jenny Craig spokeswoman.

Back to bed…

Ciao,
Elisa and Bucky the Wonderdog