Archives

A Valentine’s Day Special From Leading Lady Bras

Feb2

DAHLINGS –

Far be it from me to withhold the gift of uplift to my fellow larger lovelies! Today I received the following press release:

This Valentine’s Day We’re Sharing the LOVE from the Intimates, Out

LEADING LADY wants women everywhere to slip into “sexy” with a new bra and a perfect fit to enhance their curves!

New fans can Like us on Facebook for an introductory 10% discount code. All of our fans can Tweet “I LOVE @LeadingLadyBras” TODAY and on VALENTINE’S DAY and receive a 10% discount code. The codes can be used at our e-boutique during the entire month of February. So go on — Spread the word, Share the Love!

Promotion codes are good for one per person. Cannot be combined with any other coupon offers. Discount applied at check out. Expires 02/29/12

***************************
Disclaimer: your faithful correspondent has “road-tested” two Leading Lady bras, size 42DD. This bra was lovely and gave excellent support and (most important) projection:


Scalloped Lace Underwire Bra

The other bra was, simply, the largest bra I have ever worn. Not in bra size, but in size. The neckline almost reached my collarbone. It fit well, but let us say, that it is not exactly this writer’s preferred look. A woman who feels she needs maximum support would undoubtedly find this more to her taste.

Molded Seamless Wirefree Bra

I urge you to go to their website and browse their extensive selection of full-figure and nursing bras. You shall be pleasantly surprised.

Ciao,
Elisa

Emmy Awards, continued live blogg

Sep21

DAHLINGS –

I think I might be geting th4e hang of this teeny little notebook computer. Who’s the midget who introduced Brendan Gleason? Who’s Brendan Gleason?

Patricia Arquette’s breasts are threatening to explode. Jennifer Love Hewitt is pretending to have breasts. They must have pleated her chest.

Deerhilla Walsh, winner for Best Direction of a Miniseries, has a beautiful vintage-style dress. My favorite so far tonight. The accent doesn’t hurt, either.

Oh my goodness, Alec Baldwin just strolled by,,, damn, he turned and went back to the stage!

Hmmm…is Chris Noth around?

Jessica Lange won for something. Lovely green gown, dahlings, movie star glamour. (Is she wearing a bandage on her arm? She keeps giving herself CPR. AFter that french actress nad pregnant Heidi Klum, this Emmy ceremony might have the most medical emergencies in history.)

Too many commercials, not enough liquor. I gave Bucky half a Benadryl and he’s snoozing happily in his Louis Vuitton carrier. My poor little darling had to miss Fashion Week, how can I not bring him to the Emmy Awards?

Keefir Sutherland and some woman with breasts in a pink dress are announcing a winner of something. I think I will try to find Chris Noth.

Later,
Elisa & Bucky the Snoring Wonderdog

A Fabulous Party–In Brooklyn, Of All Places!

Feb6

DAHLINGS –

I am still not quite myself, but nonetheless, I simply could not RESIST when I received the following invitation:

Deb Malkin has dared to open a shop in these troubled economic times, and I say BRAVA! Yes, we sell similar merchandise in some ways, but as I have written before, a rising tide lifts all boats. And the shop is in Brooklyn, where my high heels have barely, if ever, trod. Nevertheless, I gave the order to my limo driver to take me there!

Well, it was quite the evening! Your faithful correspondent usually goes to soirees where Krug is flowing and the male guests are in black tie. However, this was a walk on the wild side if ever there was one! Male guests, when one could spot them, most times turned out to be female.

My wardrobe choice was a cobalt blue suit from the 1960s with a sheared beaver collar dyed to match (it was, after all, 7 degrees outside). As for the more obviously female guests, my beloved readers, they were almost entirely plus sized, and it was an absolute SEA of cleavage! Deb herself was wearing a tartan-trimmed bustier skirt combination that had been custom-made for her, and her bounteous bosom was certainly on show. I brought a hostess gift of eight polyester maxi-dresses…it seemed the only appropriate thing, don’t you think?

Being a woman of broad mind and loose morals, I was not thrown for a moment by being probably one of the few heterosexuals there (and as my long-time readers know, I am ready to cross over if it means a particularly lucrative sale). In fact, it was delightful to be surrounded by large, lovely ladies in beautiful clothes from all eras, proudly showing what they had! Take THAT, Karl Lagerfeld!

So I drank sparkling apple juice served by a handsome woman in an impeccable suit and tie, nibbled on some nibbles. One friend who was in attendance was the ever-witty Stephanie Schroeder, my publicist, and our friend Lisa Haas, a playwright. However, they were fatigued and left before the show started.

They missed a treat! There were not enough chairs, but fortunately for moi, my height proves to be an advantage in these situations. Les danseuses were, with one exception, ecydiasts (look it up) from the old school of burlesque. World Famous BOB (not certain why her last name is all caps, but celebrities are funny that way) is called that for a reason…it was as if one was watching Gypsy Rose Lee crossed with The Lady Bunny.

Photo by Sara Macel

There were also go-go dancers of considerable heft, and a belly dancer from Washington, DC who proved that you don’t have to be built like Madonna to shake it and not break it. Oh, mon Dieu, did I just write that? One believes one did. Her name is Miasia, and the photo does not do her justice! Her website is http://www.miasia.org/.

Now that I am feeling slightly better, you shall be hearing from me more often.

Ciao,

Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

LINDSAY LOHAN & NICOLE RICHIE NAKED

Feb27

DAHLINGS –

Pardon the title, but I did want to make this blog-thing got some HITS! (And I do have a screed about Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn a few entries back, so I’m not really lying, just fibbing a bit.)

Mes cher amis, my SHOW OPENS TONIGHT!

“DeCarlo is a killer performer” The L Magazine
“This is one seriously funny writer.” VintageGrace.com
“Truly a cool blog!” Critiquemyblog.com
“A fabulously funny blog.” TheThreeTomatoes.com

LIVE! ON STAGE! THE POPULAR BLOG COMES TO LIFE!
Rival-blasting, servant-bashing, she will stop at nothing for the perfect Dior!


FRIGID new york presents an S & D Production
DIARY OF A MAD FASHIONISTA

A Couture Comedy Made For The Masses
Written by Elisa DeCarlo
Directed by Aaron Haber
Starring Elisa DeCarlo and Shannon Sutherland

“You CANNOT AFFORD to miss this show, dahlings!” -The Fashionista

WED 2/27 @ 9 PM
SUN 3/2 @ 8:30 PM
TUE 3/4 @ 9 PM
FRI 3/7 @ 10:30 PM
SAT 3/8 @ 10 PM

The Red Room
85 East 4th StreetNew York, NY 10003(Between 2nd and 3rd Ave.)

Tickets $12
For tickets, go to http://www.smarttix.com/ or call (212) 868-4444

Make certain you buy your tickets ASAP…it’s a small theater and will be simply jampacked!

Ciao,Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

The Sick & The Dead: Lindsay Lohan as Marilyn Monroe

Feb22

Dahlings –

This morning I was confronted over my morning latte’ with the latest celebrity outrage. No, not the Miley Cyrus seat-belt flap.

It is Lindsay Lohan’s handlers’ incomprehensible decision to have their client pose as Marilyn Monroe in an imitation of Monroe’s last photo shoot with Bert Stern. (http://media.nymag.com/fashion/08/lindsay-as-marilyn/)

Stern himself, who apparently has not accomplished very much since the mid-1960s, saw a injection of career Viagra in this exploitation of the youthful hype whore. So he shot the new pictures himself. After all, he had published all 2000 photographs he shot of Marilyn in several different books, all published long ago.

These photos were called “The Last Sitting,” and were virtually the last pictures taken of Marilyn. There are many beautiful images, if you overlook the fact that Marilyn was extremely drunk and high.

(No disrespect for the dead intended. But mon cher lecteurs, the sad reality was that she was an alcoholic and addict, dying six weeks later of an barbiturate overdose.) Later Norman Mailer, may he not rest in peace, used many of these photos for his own exploitation book, a masturbatory fantasy bio titled “Marilyn.”

And now we have Ms. Lohan. When I saw the first photo, I thought she was wearing prosthetic breasts, but then I realized they were phonies of a different sort. I have no idea what this has to do with Spring Fashion 2008, but that was the section into which Star—er, New York Magazine—decided to shoehorn this pathetic travesty.

As for Ms. Lohan, she doesn’t think it is a “big deal,” but then, her actual career has not been a “big deal” for quite some time and this is the first intentional publicity she has received for several years.

I have this to say:

SHAME on all who participated in this degradation of the memory of a beautiful, talented actress who died before her time!

SHAME on all of those who brought this venal monstrosity before the public.

SHAME on those who knew the only similarities between Ms. Lohan and Ms. Monroe are gender, alcohol and drugs.

One only hopes Ms. Lohan has the good fortune to live until 36.

Regretfully,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog