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Have A Helping Of My Novel – Excerpts

DAHLINGS –
I am taking the supreme risk: I am publishing two excerpts from my novel.  “The Abortionist’s Daughter” has been selling nicely on Kindle.  So I am sharing it with you, my darling readers.  
Both are from the first section.  The first excerpt takes place after Melanie, age 22, has first met James, at the local ice cream parlor.  The second is a flashback to her childhood.

Study Of A Young Woman

James took a step closer to her, bent slightly, and kissed her on the lips. Melanie froze in confusion. She knew what she was supposed to do—­slap his face and call him names—but that wasn’t what she wanted to do. Not at all.
 ‘How was that?” he asked, dropping his voice. He looked into her eyes.
 “Are you making love to me?”
 “Yes.”
 “I liked it,” she replied, tilting her face up for more, thrilled with her own daring.
 I’m glad,” he murmured.  He kissed her again, his lips soft, his mouth tasting of a hint of split pea soup. He put his nose in the hair just behind her left ear and took a deep breath.  The feeling of the tip of his nose on her skin was electric.  It had been so long—years—since she had felt a man’s touch.  And that had been back at school, before the trial, chastely clumsy kisses in cloakrooms and in stuffy parlors. 
“’You smell so good,” he said, and kissed her again. “I can’t believe I’m doing this.”  He lifted a finger and gently slid it from her chin to the top of her collar.  Melanie quivered.  She was afraid to make a move. She was awash with pleasure such as she had never known. She knew what she was supposed to do.  Melt against him (that was the alternative to slapping his face), but she couldn’t.  Her hands hung uselessly at her sides.

“James, you shouldn’t be doing this,” she whispered.

 “I know.  I can’t help myself.”  He kissed her again, a long, slow, lingering kiss.
 “Please—please stop.”  Her words came out as a little gasp.  She didn’t want him to stop. 
 James took a step back, smiling, holding her arms.  “You are a peach of a girl, Miss Daniels.”
  
 “Thank you.”  Melanie averted her face.  “I don’t know what you must think of me.”  She wanted him to kiss her again!  And again and again.
His left hand ran up and down her upper arm.  She felt as if little shivers of desire were following along with it.  “I think very highly of you.  That’s why I kissed you.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’d like to see you again, Miss Daniels.  Soon.”  The hand closed around her upper arm.
It was an outrageous request.  He had taken liberties with her.

“I’d like that.”

***************************************************************************************************************

When she was eight years old, one bright late Spring day, Harold Clarice, a classmate, had come up to her in  the schoolyard.  He had an ugly smile on his face. 

“My ma says your pa kills babies,” he announced
.
“Harold Clarice, you take that back!” Melanie demanded.
“Your pa’s a baby-killer,” Harold repeated.
“You clam yourself!”  She felt her face burning hotly.
“Baby killer!  Baby killer!”
“You just clam yourself!”

In a rage, Melanie lashed out at Harold, smacking him in the mouth.  Harold stared at her in shock for an instant, then leapt upon her, flailing with his fists, and they both fell to the ground, biting and punching.  Instantly the other children were around them, screaming delightedly, “Fight!  Fight! Fight!”

“What’s going on here!  Children!”  Miss Chipman, their teacher, stood over them.  Melanie quickly disengaged herself from Harold.  Her white dress was torn, its pink sash hanging in tatters.  Her blonde hair had been pulled from its ponytail and hung loosely at her shoulders.  Harold’s shirtfront was covered with dirt, and blood ran down his chin.  Their classmates hung back, fascinated. 
“She started it!”
“Did not!” 
“Did too!”
 Melanie knew Harold dared not repeat his taunt; he would be punished for using such language. 
Either the other children hadn’t heard him, or didn’t risk saying it themselves.  Miss Chipman made both Harold and Melanie sit in opposite corners facing the wall for the rest of the afternoon.  Melanie was grateful that her teacher didn’t inquire further into what had started the fight.  She had a feeling that Miss Chipman knew.

And there you have it, mon chers.

At the risk of bragging, here are some Amazon reviews.  If you don’t believe me, go here.

“Don’t start reading this wonderful tale if you have anything else to do for a while. It will grab you and keep you enthralled.”


“If you liked An Awfully Big Adventure and/or Tipping the Velvet, definitely give this one a shot!” 

“The author’s evocation of that time period, the abundant showbiz details, and the personal politics of abortion all made it very rich.”

Do both of us a favor and pick up my book at Amazon.  Oops.  Seeing that it’s on Kindle, do download my book.  You’ll thank me later, and I will thank you now.

Ciao,


Elisa & Fletcher

New York’s SEXIEST BENEFIT July 25 for Planned Parenthood!

DAHLINGS –

This is your chance to get tickets for Summer, Sex and Spirits, the 7th Annual Benefit for Planned Parenthood!

HUDSON TERRACE
621 WEST 46TH STREET
8 PM – 11 PM

Open Bar, including a Summer, Sex & Spirits specialty cocktail!
Sexy performances by Calamity Chang, Darlinda Just Darlinda & Ginger Brown
Hot music by Justine D & DJ Ayres
Naughty balloon artistry by Mistress B
General Admission: $40
VIP Tickets: $75

For tickets and information go to

www.ppnyc.org

Fabulous silent auction & raffle prizes including items from:
Christian Louboutin, Daredevil Tattoo, Shinn Estate Vineyards, ION Salon, Babeland, Old Village Hall, Darphin, MoMA, Chilewich, Candle 79, Artist Victoria Blewer, Angelo David Salon, Rachel Comey, Skinny Skinny, Malia Mills, Duane Park, Artist Karen Goetzinger, Guggenheim, Mets, Lenor Romano, Astor Center Wines, Fox & Boy Hair, Edgewater Gallery Vermont, Jen Huang Photography, Yankees, Exhale Spa, 3rd Ward, Eve’s Garden, Holly Hudson, SHOKra Studio, Wendy Mink, The Frick, Alphabet City Acupuncture, Only Hearts, Brooklyn Brainery, New York School of Burlesque, Artist Marcelo Gallegos…and many more!

VIP Tickets: $75
Includes admission to the VIP reception from 7:00pm-8:00pm featuring gift bags courtesy of Bag the Habit, balloon artistry by Mistress B, artisanal cheeses from Lucy’s Whey, sweet treats by Dulce Desserts & sunset cocktails on the Garden Terrace.

21 and over.

See you there!
Ciao,
Elisa


If Only Politician’s Wives Would Go Wild…

DAHLINGS –

This past week has been so tiresome. Particularly if you are a political wife/ex-wife. First Silda Spitzer, then Dina Matos McGreevy, finally Michelle Paterson, the wife of our new governor. Don’t these women ever grow tired of standing next to men they probably despise, in the glare of the spotlight, eyes downcast? They should take a page from Hillary Clinton’s book, ignore the man and have an independent life of their own. (I wouldn’t mind entertaining Bill Clinton while his wife is on the campaign trail. Not at all. Yum.)

Your faithful correspondent, who has been watching far too much reality television lately, wondered if Silda Spitzer would whip around and start screaming at Elliot: “I shoulda kicked your ass to the curb! You’re nothing but a dog, yo!” That would be followed by mud-wrestling Ashley Alexander Dupre ala “Girls Gone Wild.”

At least Michelle Paterson admitted to having her own affairs. That shows healthy self-respect, in my opinion.

But why do Americans get so overwrought about infidelity? In other countries, politicians have mistresses and nobody thinks anything of it. They don’t have to give up their careers, the paparazzi don’t follow them about, no fuss, no muss. As I have written before, I am a woman of broad mind and loose morals. Yours truly has participated in quite a number of, er, interesting activities that I will not detail here, but I do not feel it is my place to judge. Most of the time, anyway.

I do not believe that husbands and wives should lie to each other, but if you are intend to have more than one sexual partner in your life at the same time, at least have the courtesy to be open about it to your spouse. I was faithful to all three of my husbands…not that it was difficult, I was not married for very long.

Think about all of the trouble you’re saving yourself and him/her: lying, and guilt, and the fear of scandal. And nobody standing in the spotlight, pretending to be supportive. That, to me, would be the best part of all.

Another thing I would like to point out is the duality between the extreme sexuality of our society hand in hand with the severe repression and false moralizing. How can anyone pretend to be shocked any more after watching an episode of, say, “Flavor of Love”? Or 90% of commercials for anything? Or walking by a magazine stand? I mean, really. Do grow up, mon chers.

To put it metaphorically, American culture crams sex down our collective throats, whether we want it or not. Oh, dear, now I’ve started thinking Deep Thoughts, and that always gives me a terrible headache.

Off to watch more reality television! I do hope “Clean House” is on.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky The Wonderdog

MEG CABOT visits the Fashionista next week!

DAHLINGS –

As promised, next week I shall be having a tete-a-tete with best-selling author Meg Cabot, who penned the best-selling “Princess Diaries,” and forty other books. The amount of work that entails beggars the mind. She is on a “blog tour.”

Now I know that there are thousands of you out there who read this blog thing religiously (as well you should), and I am sure that you are dying to ask Ms. Cabot questions. Please send your questions through the “Comments” section of this blog, and you can be as blunt as you want.

Of course the first question that springs to my mind is: did you write all forty books yourself? Do you take dexadrine?

The main topic will be her latest novel, “Queen of Babble,” the story of a young girl who simply cannot keep her mouth shut, no matter what the consequences. The most interesting thing about our heroine is that she works in a vintage store. So she is always garbed in fabulous vintage clothes (which play an important part in the plot). You have to admire an author who knows to put her main character in an Alex Colman dress. (Not only that, an ill-advised blowjob figures in the plot as well. I suppose that is what makes it an adult novel.)

However, digressions and intensely personal questions are most welcome. If you’ve read any of my forever timeless writing, you know that I always speak my mind and go where few dare to tread. And always in high heels.

Ciao,
Elisa and Bucky the Wonderdog

Sex With The Famous (Plus Today’s Fashion Tip!)

DAHLINGS –

The discussion on the aforementioned board soon turned into a mass of posts retelling, in sometimes lurid detail, the many musicians, rock stars, and strange smelly people the other vintage sellers had encountered, and I use the word loosely. Then, another seller wrote THIS:

Give it up, Elisa…we all know your “personal assistant” is really Bucky.

I responded thusly:

DAHLINGS, I am back!

After an exceedingly relaxing bathe, I changed into a silk ensemble that reeked of impeccable chic and dry cleaning fluid, that stopped traffic as I strolled languidly through the barrio. Ah, I treasure the calls of “Mommy! You got it goin’ on!” I merely blush and turn away. They wish.

And yes, my underpants were steamed smooth and then put in the icebox, as is my custom during the summer months.As to the jealous lowlife who insinuated that Bucky the Replaced Wonderdog is my personal assistant, I say only, HA! And HA! again! The little nuisance has been sent packing and in his place I have a…wait a minute, I have to go in the kitchen and look…it’s behind a fenced-in area by the stove…can’t have the little beast pooping on the Aubusson…it’s Japanese and very chic, that’s the important thing…

OH! ITS DISGUSTING, SMELLY POOP HAS NOT BEEN CLEANED UP AND IT’S BEEN AT LEAST TWO MINUTES! GET IN HERE, YOU CLOWN, AND IF YOU’RE NOT FAST, I’LL MAKE YOU PICK IT UP WITH YOUR TEETH!

Excuse me. Ahem. My assistant (NOT Bucky) is a lower class ne’erdowell. Let me explain the reason for my re-appearance:You are all bragging about the famous people you have slept with, sold to, glimpsed on the street, or found yourself under after a night spent snorting cocaine and drinking cheap bourbon.

Well, dahlings, I have slept with not ONLY the most important and famous men in this country, but ALSO the women! I had to replace DH as well, because he kept complaining about the limousines coming and going (as was I…nothing stokes a woman’s libido like fame). Of course, I’m not going to be so declasse’ as to name names. But every time you pick up an issue of People or Business Week, think of me.

The men were for the pleasure. The women so they would be so stunned by my delicate yet ferocious lingerie, they would buy it off my sleek, tanned back. Ah, the memories…and the incriminating videos shot by my Hide-a-cam behind the vintage 50s swinging cat-tail clock.

The only reason Bucky is still on my signature and my ‘About Me’ page on Ebay under my selling ID, Hoardmeister, is that my personal assistant, lazy swine, just passed out from fatigue before she could update them. Excuse me, I have to go kick her awake.

Ciao, dahlings, it’s been ever so…

Elisa and Bucky The Wonderdog

Pre-Labor Day Fashion Tip: When Ernesto is coming, it is not “romantic” to walk along the beach in a filmy, gauzy, mid-calf skirt. You look ridiculous because it is being blown up backwards and we can all see your K-mart lingerie. Or at least I can, from here.