Fan Fiction For Dummies – A Glossary

DAHLINGS –

I am still going through “House MD” withdrawal, as you can imagine.

With the recent scholarly discussions on fan fiction (fiction written by fans of television shows, movies, computer games and coloring books), your faithful correspondent felt there should be a sort of glossary of terms.  Naturally, given my predilection for “House, MD”, this is my jumping off point.

The first thing one needs to know is that the show’s fans, both insane and regular folk, like to use portmanteau names (the first of them all being Bennifer for Ben Affleck and Jennifer Aniston).  This means a relationship is there, usually romantic or sexual or both. Personally I don’t care for them, but it breaks down to:

House + Cuddy – Huddy  (Hugh Laurie & Lisa Edelstein)

House + Wilson – Hilson (Hugh Laurie & Robert Sean Leonard)

House + Cameron – Hameron (Hugh Laurie & Jennifer Morrison)

And so forth.  It doesn’t matter whether or not it happened on the actual show; these are ways for “shippers” to identify themselves.  Although many prefer the more adult “House/Cuddy” etc. As you have probably gathered from this blog, I myself tend to prefer the House/Wilson friendship.

“Ship” is short for relationship.  Every possible character combination has come up in fanfiction.  Homosexual romance and/or sex is called “slash.”Heterosexual romance/and or sex is called “het”.  Just romance is called “fluff” and usually means a light, cute story.  There are popular genres known as “hurt/comfort,” and “smut,” respectively.  I hope these are self-explanatory.

Now, dahlings, there are various genres of fanfic…there are actually hundreds, but first I shall confine myself first to some spedific House/Wilson “fic”genres.

“mpreg” Male pregnancy. One of the men (usually Wilson) has a baby and he and House raise it.  Don’t even try to wrap your mind around this.

There’s a subgenre of one or both of them being babies, or turning into babies.

Almost all have lots and lots and lots of sex.

“Babies?”  “Don’t blame me, I live in the writers’ heads.”

“Post-Finale” Since the finale was left open-ended, with House and Wilson riding off into the sunset, there has been an explosion of fics in which House copes with Wilson’s death, sees his ghost, or cures him.  Some are quite amazingly good.

 “Contractverse” A series of stories based on “The Contract,” where House is tortured and traumatized in exchange for keeping Wilson alive (of course Wilson doesn’t know it).  Later stories have House a physical and mental wreck. I’ve glanced at these, but to be honest, they turn my stomach. 

BDSM – you know what that is.  Readers can ask where to find stories where House or Wilson is “the top”, etc.  For some reason, Wilson is usually the one dominating or humiliating House. 

Speaking of which, some writers write House/Wilson in abusive relationships, usually because the writers themselves are in abusive relationships.  Or concentrate on child abuse, which usually means House collapses into a sobbing heap having an epic flashback,weeping, “No, daddy, I’ve been a good boy!”

Basically, the entire panorama of human experience is filtered through these stories, making this kind of fiction even more id-driven than romance novels. 

Two other genres that are common to many fics of all kinds are:

“First Time” –bazillions of these.  Most are much of a muchness.

“AU” – alternative universe.  Anything that doesn’t directly relate to the events or locations of the show.

 

From a small sampling of House/Cuddy “fics,” it seems that the concentration these days is to depart from the show’s plot and have the two characters in an established relationship.  Usually raising Cuddy’s daughter Rachel.  Some of the show’s best and most realistic fanfiction has come from this neck of the woods, in my opinion.

There are also a fair amount of “first time” fics. And lots and lots and lots of sex.

I have never read a House/Cameron fic, so I don’t know the content or genres.  If any writers would like to enlighten me, please do so in the comments.  But I’m sure there’s lots and lots and lots of sex.

 

There also seem to be quite a few “femmeslash” (lesbian) stories involving Cameron and Thirteen (Olivia Wilde).  Since Thirteen was bisexual on the show, it makes a certain sort of sense.

 Probably a fair amount of sex, don’t you think?

 

Recently my assistant Leo was reading some fanfiction.  He remarked to me, “But this has nothing to do with what happened in real life!”

I agreed with him, until I remembered that “real life” was a television show.

Damn.

Ciao,

Elisa & Fletcher

Jennifer Morrison Steps Out

DAHLINGS –

Beautiful Jennifer Morrison, who now stars in the hit show Once Upon A Time, was spotted looking absolutely EXQUISITE at the premiere of the Muppets Movie (please forget the second part of that sentence. Muppets—ugh).

She is dressed in a Rebecca Taylor dress, Brian Atwood heels, and an Oscar de la Renta clutch. I admit, I am not wild about the hair. It seems a tad too “milkmaid at the Dutch county fair” to moi.

The focus of her look are these lia Sophia Linear Earrings with black diamond crystals and moss & tortoise resin.

If you want Jennifer’s earrings, you can go to www.liasophia.com to find an Advisor.

This is not a paid post. I love Jennifer Morrison, and love these earrings.

Ciao,

Elisa

The Golden Globes 2010: MY Best Dressed!

DAHLINGS –

Of course, this award ceremony was overshadowed by the tragedy in Haiti. So some celebrities showed their support with a ribbon, as usual. This one yellow and red. It was also pouring rain. So the male hands and arms that are on the edges of some pictures are unfortunate NBC employees holding umbrellas to keep the famous dry.

This Best Dressed list is going to be longer than my usual, because I loved so many of the gowns that stood out from the overwhelming blandness. Bear with me.

First, Meryl Streep, who won for “It’s Complicated” (co-starring…sigh, Alec Baldwin). Despite searching all over the Web, I could NOT find a full-length picture of her beautiful black gown. So here is the most I could find.

Next, a widely reviled Zac Posen dress worn by Tina Fey. Vintage-lover that I am, I found it winsome, and a nice change from the black dresses she typically wears to award shows.

Next, we have the star of Precious, Gabourey Sidibe. Most designers have no idea how to dress larger lovelies, but Kevin Hall did a marvelous job.

As Reem Acra did with Monique, who won Best Supporting Actress for her work as the abusive mother in Precious. It is a pity you cannot see the beautifully draped back!

And here is Monique standing a wee bit too close to the recently deceased Nicole Kidman, who has no thought but to feast on Monique’s brain. (There was a brief scuffle after this photo was taken, and Monique’s brain was saved from zombie Nicole.)

“Me want Monique’s tasty brain.”
“Get away from me, Nicole. You’re drooling on my back.”

And of course, the ageless Sigourney Weaver, stunning in green:

A surprise to your faithful correspondent was Jane Krakowski, who was simply gorgeous in purple!

And I thought Jane Lynch looked fantastic in a zoot suit on Glee, but she was utterly gorgeous in this ultra-feminine gown:

How could I forget House’s Lisa Edelstein? She is always at the top of my list–well, nearly the top this time, Meryl beat out everybody else. Her silver satin dress fits perfectly!

(It’s a CRIME that House and Hugh Laurie did not win! DAMN YOU, CABLE!)

But I digress. France’s Marion Cottilard took one’s breath away in, of course, Dior!

Jennifer Morrison, late of House, exuded movie star glamour in this Louis Antonio gown. Although I am not a fan of ruffles, the way they were used in this dress was precision itself.

Perky little actress Jane Adams was simply adorable in this blue confection:

Christina Hendricks always owns the runway, and once again, she does not fail to do so, showcasing her gorgeous figure in a gown by Christian Siriano. Take that, Gossip Girls!

Thank you, ladies, for reminding us that actresses can still be women in this day and age. Readers, feel free to comment. But bear in mind I am always right.

Coming up next, a list in an entirely new category! The Dullest Dressed!

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog