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Sorry, I Don’t Want An "Amazing Transformation!"

DAHLINGS –

Since the discovery that there were vast sums to be derived from making others feel inadequate, never has such high intelligence has been devoted to low self-esteem.

And never has technology had such effective tools to work with. Between CGI and Photoshop, women (and everybody else) have almost no access to unmediated images.

For example: when has Oprah EVER looked like one of her own magazine covers? It sickens moi when Oprah has those “empowering” title lines on her covers. “Be The Best You?” Then how about showing us the REAL You, Oprah? The woman who is overweight, with heavy arms. This is not meant as a criticism of Ms. Winfrey’s physique. It is a criticism of Ms. Winfrey’s holding herself out as an example. An example that is a LIE.

Ms. Winfrey believes that her bazillions of followers will not buy her magazines if Oprah Winfrey actually looks like Oprah Winfrey.

The mind boggles. In fact, it makes my head hurt if I think about this too much.

Larger lovelies are further marginalized not only by Oprah having herself halved in size, but also the eradication of any and all normal flaws in media images. We are so ceaselessly bombarded by smooth, creamy perfection at every turn that oneself cannot measure up. Even the perfect people are not perfect enough. In television and movies, no wrinkles, bulges, unsightly moles, body hair, bra lines, panty lines, a dress wrinkled in the waist and skirt from sitting down—thanks to CGI, “all gone!” as a friend of mine says to her shiba inu when lunch is done.

To reach out to larger lovelies and spread the word, http://www.aboutcurves.com/ is having a charity drive for NAAFA (National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance). They have asked plus-size bloggers to write, and I am proud to do so. Even if, as always, I’m slightly late. Click the link for more information:

http://www.aboutcurves.com/charity

Before I write anything else, there is one item I must get off my ample chest: if I meet the people behind the Victoria’s Secret ad campaigns and catalogs, there would be blood on the streets. Even the gaunt Dachau victims that lurch down the runways during Fashion Week are more realistic than those pencils with false breasts. Victoria’s Secret has it all…One can feel bad about being skinny, flat-chested, large-chested, heavy, tall, short…any woman that does not look like these bizarre hybrids. And the quality of their merchandise is far lower than their prices would indicate.

The name “Victoria’s Secret” brings to mind the image of a young Victorian female, all plush curves and dimpled elbows. Beautiful lingerie enhancing the splendor of an actual human body. Sensual fabrics on sexual females. The hint of a double chin above a soft neck. Long hair spilled across a satin pillowcase.

Thousands of ads toting exercise machines, DVDs, pills, programs, all guaranteed to make you lose weight and keep it off. Sometimes I wonder:

a) Why have I never met anyone personally who underwent such a transformation?

b) If all of those hordes of “afters” are thin, how can there be any fat people left, logistically speaking?

You might think this is a “been there, done that” tirade. We have been there. We have done that. But never as completely. Never as unremittingly. Women are trained from the cradle to think of themselves as physically inadequate in some way. Heavy women even more so. Now, overweight isn’t only overweight, it is a crime against humanity. At least according to TMZ and their ilk.

Where are the role models for larger lovelies? Every time a heavy beauty has a career breakthrough…she sheds poundage. And since said beauty has always given publicity about “loving myself the way I am”, the frantic backtracking becomes comic to watch. “Yes, I did love myself at that weight, but life can be enjoyed at any size!” THEN WHY DID YOU LOSE SIXTY POUNDS, BITCH? (Yes, I’m looking at you, Jessica Hudson. I know there are others. But I’m looking at you.)

We are betrayed at every turn. America Ferrera started “Ugly Betty” as a larger lovely, but grew progressively thinner as the show’s run went on. Singer Jordin Sparks is ´delighted´ to have lost weight. Media websites love to run slideshows of “Amazing Transformations!”

That’s another peeve. You don’t lose weight. You have “An Amazing Transformation!” “Complete Body Makeover!” Good God, it makes me long for the days when the goal of losing weight was well…losing weight. Buy a smaller bra. Wear pleats. Can we ever go back? If we’re going to make abortion illegal again, while we’re at it, can’t we go back to excess poundage not being a mortal sin?

Pardon the pun: Fat chance. My apologies if this rambles a bit, but I have low blood sugar. I am going to go eat a chocolate cupcake. In public.

Ciao,

Elisa

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Lincoln University’s Racist Fat Discriminatory Policy

DAHLINGS

Fat discrimination never ends, does it? Why is it news when a fat person dies, when millions more are dying of lung cancer? It is because “Man Dies Of Lung Cancer In Recliner” doesn’t make for a snappy headline?

Your faithful correspondent was outraged to read today in the Huffington Post that Lincoln University has instituted a policy that not only do students have to take a mandatory physical fitness class to be considered eligible for graduation—but also must have a Body Mass Index of under 30! Otherwise they will not graduate.

I have to admit that I have never cared enough to find out what exactly BMI is or why it matters so much. (“The Biggest Loser” uses it, but anyone who appears on that farce is already a loser.)

Not only is this policy discriminatory toward those whose body mass is greater than the approved amount; all of the two dozen students who will not graduate are African-American.

The name Lincoln University has become a joke. What would Abraham Lincoln make of this idiotic, inequitable policy that affects so many young people who have studied and worked for their diplomas? Is the university letting anorexics graduate, or do they have to have a BMI above 3? Somehow I think the deluded officials responsible for this monstrosity don’t care which students have bulimia (after all, they tend to be more photogenic, even if they faint a lot).

Here is a link to the Huffington Post article:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/11/24/too-fat-to-graduate-linco_n_370037.html

In turn it links to a suitably judgemental article by an African-American woman criticizing the students for being overweight. So comforting to know that this sort of discrimination is embraced by the African-American community. Don’t they have problems enough??

Shame on you, Lincoln University! Shame on the press outlets that publicize this sort of article with shots of bulging waists.

Mon Dieu, I have to go and have my maid dab my temples with eaude-cologne. And than I shall dine on a large breakfast of bacon, eggs and buttermilk biscuits to show my solidarity (and because it is delicious).

Glamour To Do "Plus-Size" Model Photo Spread

DAHLINGS –

I am slack-jawed with amaze. After Glamour magazine published a nude photo of a normal woman (although far thinner than most of the sisterhood), the magazine was flooded with approving mail, thanking them!

After all of the constant weight-bashing lately, this comes as a breath of fresh air.

Sensing a trend, for its upcoming November issue, Glamour assigned photographer Matthias Vriens to shoot a photo spread of the model again, along with her plus-size model counterparts Kate Dillon, Jennie Runk, Amy Lemons, Ashley Graham, Anansa Sims (daughter of the first black woman to appear on the cover of Vogue, Beverly Johnson)!


Kate Dillon

For the full article, by Katie Hintz Zambrano, please read here:

http://www.stylelist.com/blog/2009/09/01/the-people-have-spoken-more-nude-plus-size-models/?icid=main

If nothing else, I would like to find out the identity of the annoying model who simpers, “Thanks, Playtex!” at the end of those television commercials.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog