As you know, I am the last word in discreet. Far be it from moi to spread rumors, but possibly terrible news has reached my shell-like ears:
Anna Wintour may be replaced at Vogue!
Non! Il ne peut pas être! C’est un scandale, je vous le dis, un crime au-delà des mots! Je suis sans voix! Les mots me manquent! Non! Non!
I knew there had to be a reason she had gone blonde.
According to online sources, Condé Nast overlord Si Newhouse departed early for his annual three-week December vacation in Vienna. It seems that he needed time for a meeting with French Vogue’s éditeur de femmes Carine Roitfeld! Oh, the humanity!
But how can the editor of such a small part of the Condé Nast empire fill Anna’s exquisitely fitted high heels? No one loves the French better than moi, but let us be entirely honest, mon cher readers. During Spring Fashion Week, Roitfeld confessed to disliking business, to being a stylist first and foremost. The Français diable must have been talking out of the other side of her face, if you get my drift.
The woman doesn’t even wear lipstick! Yes, yes, we all blather about how stylish the Parisians are, but do you think Roitfeld has what it takes to oversee a magazine that speaks to millions of American readers?? Next to America, France is a bit of a cow town, no matter how many books Americans write about Frenchwomen never being fat. (I’ve seen them, and I know what a base canard that is.)
This is like asking Sarah Palin to be President. Thank GOD it never came to that!
And what will happen to darling Andre Leon Talley? We’ve reconciled since his (ugh) friendship with Rachel Zoe. We simply have an agreement that he never mentions her name in front of me, or I will sic Bucky the Wonderdog on him. Where will Andre go? I simply cannot envision him hosting a show on the Style Network! Oh, how the mighty might fall!
The word is that this is part of a cost-cutting move by Newhouse because Mens Vogue and Fashion Rocks have flopped, and dear Anna commands a two million dollar salary. Plus perks and undying devotion from yours truly.
One hopes Anna can find comfort in the arms of Roger Federer. Failing him, Michael Phelps. Phelps will sleep with anyone when he’s drunk enough, although you didn’t hear it from moi.
Now, how on earth did I get into the topic of Michael Phelps’s sex life?? I am sorry to be getting so exercised, I must go lie down and have the maid dab my temples with eau-de-cologne. Oh, the economy!
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog