The Carpet Runs Red At The Oscars…

DAHLINGS,

It’s Oscar night, and no Vanity Fair party! Not only that, your faithful correspondent is simply wrung out from the stress of working on my soon-to-be-opening extravaganza, “Diary of A Mad Fashionista,” which opens this Wednesday.

No matter. It is my duty to report on the good, bad and the ugly on the red carpet, and then to bed. Perhaps not the exhaustive reportage my readers have come to expect from yours truly, but the mere fact that I am dictating this is a feat in itself. The blog comes first!

First, I have to say, that beautiful Jennifer Hudson should have let my dear friend Andre Leon Talley dress her this year. And for me to say THAT is significant. She is in an dazzlingly unflattering Grecian white dress with an Empire waist (why do busty women think they will look better in Empire waists?), and a shapeless bust. I do hope that dear Jennifer is not channeling Aretha Franklin nowadays!

Second, on the other end of the weight scale, Calista Flockhart was also in a Grecian draped dress (did Rami from “Project Runway” dress the invitees?) in a sickly shade of blue green, the better to look truly anorexic. Her better two-thirds, Harrison Ford, has taken to wearing a gray page boy, perhaps in homage to the Best Supporting Actor, Javier Bardem.

Another trend on the red carpet was “bed-head.” Cameron Diaz wore a scruffy ponytail (it matched the wrinkles in her gown), and Colin Farrell’s hair hung down in an uncombed mess.

Helen Mirren looked…very good. This appearance was a tad disappointing from an actress who always looks spectacular.

(Personally, I think it was the lace sleeves on her red gown. It looked like she’d thrown on an old English cardigan, even if they are crystals.)

Meanwhile, Kristin Chenoweth must have had not time to shop and ran straight to the nearest Frederick’s of Hollywood.

More later…I simply must hie me to bed.

Ciao,
Elisa & Bucky the Wonderdog

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2 thoughts on “The Carpet Runs Red At The Oscars…

  1. Women with huge breasts have a dilema, show them or throw them over your shoulder and burp them?No matter what they do, they get criticized. Aretha Franklin can’t help it if her boobs are enormous. She chooses to show her’s. Jennifer Hudson hasn’t a clue and neither do her designers. Big problem.

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